Love and everything else

She had another sip of the black tea and peeped outside. It was raining and Shary loved every moment of it. His eyes appeared out of nowhere in the rain,and it haunted her so much. Everytime she closed hers, it brought back the one and only moment they had talked. She said, "Thank you Rahul, thank you for all the memories." He smiled and had walked past her.

She sat down near the laptop where a couple of papers were kept ready to be signed. A resignation letter from the job she loved and found sanity in. But the other one was an unexplored arena. She had decided to confront her worst nightmare. Teaching. The Interview had gone well, but she was still skeptical whether it would work out or not. But there weren't as many options. It was a village and he had moved back to home. She just had to be there. 

Its been four years after college. Each time she would open her laptop , she would end up landing on his profile page. The pictures he posted. His paintings, his photography, the places he ventured, his dog. Of course, she never sent a message. Her fault. She always thought. What would he think of a girl who followed him through the college years and still kept checking him out in FB. Stalker? Will he ever like her. Its not that she hadn't tried to move on. But only to be reminded by Akash that she still loved him.

Even she could never answer when her friends had questioned her, what exactly made her love him. She just knew when he walked past her or even his glances were enough to have the butterflies in her stomach. She was literally enchanted. He was not even in her class. She wouldn't even get to see him everyday. But that never really bothered her. Many a times, she had tried to dismiss the feeling as infatuation. But even after four years , she couldn't.

But she had to express her love. He was in her every single tear drop. He was there when she was alone. He was there when she was in a crowd. The heaviness in her heart could only go away if she could go up to him and say that she loved him, more than anybody in the world. She just wanted him to lend his ears for what she had to say and nothing else.

_____________________________________________________

Shary walked up to the group of middle aged women  in the park. She was with her PG aunty. No girl at her age was anywhere near to be seen. Some were already married off and the rest were in the cities. Who would want to hang out in a small village. But here she was in search of her love. Her aunty introduced her to the rest of the group. Mrs. Iyer, the leader of the group, Mrs. Anand the gossip girl, Mrs. Krishnan who is always whining about her sons marriage and  Mrs. Mehta, whose malayalam was as good as a 2 year old.

She liked the gang and was a frequent visitor to the park after the working hours. She would hang out with them. And visited the local temples and kitty parties with them. She would help all of them arrange those parties, help them in cooking, gardening, their social networking also.  In fact she had become one of them. But for her, hanging out with them was a legit reason to explore the village and find Rahul.  But then being friends with middle aged women came with its cons. Every other day, she would have to answer to their questions as to why she is not getting married. Event hough she liked Mrs. Krishnan, she kind of kept a distance from her because all she had to say was about her son's marriage. She would always make an excuse whenever she was invited to Mrs. Krishnan's house.

Days passed by but she couldn't find a trace of him. She was losing her hope. Sometimes when she felt low, she would call Akash. He was the one who asked asked her to pursue her love. He would talk her through and put her mood right. And she would be back in the game.

And then one day, while everybody were sitting in the park, Mrs. Krishnan came up in a hurry and said, " My son's marriage is fixed. The girl' s family has agreed." " Wow, Sudha aunty, congrats . That's a great news. Aunty, we deserve a treat. " said Shary, equally excited hearing that news. Eventhough she never saw Mrs. Krishnan's son, she liked how much vocal she was about her son. She also loved the thing that Sudha aunty always mentioned him as "her son" and not even once said his name. "Yeah, of course, you all have to come to my house. They have sent the girl's photo in my son's mobile. Come."

Everybody walked to Mrs. Krishnan's house. The house was packed with relatives " We just came from Sreedevi's house. They called as soon as we reached here.Oh ! I am so happy. You know she is really pretty, just like our Shary.", said Sudha. Turning to Shary, " Shary , you haven't seen my son no. Come inside. He is your age only. But for his horsocope problem, we would not have seeked alliance at such an early age. " Sudha held Shary's hands and walked inside the hall . She was calling , " Monae, look who is here."

At that instant Shary felt the ground slipping under her feet. Everything she did , everything she thought, everything she wanted till now was coming down to a closure.Because it was Rahul who walked into the living room. And her search had end on a day when his marriage was fixed. She felt the pressure of the tears in the eyes , slowly covering her pupil. The images were beginning to get blurry. She could hardly hide her tears. Turning to Rahul she offered a handshake, "Congratulations, Rahul". Sudha was surprised. " Do you guys know each other?". Rahul nodded, " Shary is a classmate ,Amma."

__________________________________________________

Two days she couldn't get out of her bed. She was crying her ass out. Akash would call her every hour to see if she is okay. But she wasn't . But eventually he convinced her that fate had another way. And that she couldn't cry forever over a person not meant to be with her. She had to pick up courage and face the inevitable. Eventhough her heart had decided to shutdown service, she decided that she could work with her mind. She started going to college and ended up doing all the office works also just to get engaged. 

One day, she was walking from her college to her house, when his car passed by. Sudha peeped outside the window , "Why so late, Shary?" " There was some office work, Aunty" "Come na, we will drop you at home." Although she hesistated first, she decided she had to confront the reality and got into the car. "Monae, drop us at our house first, and you drop Shary at Mithila's house."

"How long have you been here? " Asked Rahul, after he had dropped his mom and dad. 

" About 7 months", Shary was trying to sound normal.

"Its village and we are living just a kilometer apart . Still we didn't meet . For 7 months . Strange.", he said.

" Destiny, may be," she murmured.

" You were in Bangalore , right. Why did you come here?"

"I always wanted to teach." She said unappealing. Even he could make out that it was a lie.

That night Rahul couldn't sleep. He always remembered Shary as the girl who shouted his name loud as her crush. He did have feelings for her, but was hesitant to approach her because he knew he would be teased by his  friends. Moreover, she was exuberant. She was outward. He always thought what she did during the college was something just for fun. He assumed that in these four years she might have moved on with her life. But never ever he thought that she was so serious about him, so serious that she even came to his village. Why would she do that for a man who didn't even give her a second look. 

____________________________________________

Next evening, when he saw her in the supermarket, he went up to her and started talking. He had decided to give  friendship a chance. She atleast deserved that , if not his love. He enquired about her teaching. She said it was going good. The students were all good and its kind of more relaxing than the corporate job. He talked about his job in Mumbai and why he came back. He could never leave this place. This is where his heart was. Even though it was difficult for Shary, she even enquired about the wedding preparations. Shary was not hoping to convince him about her love as it was too late. But this was the guy whom she was head over heels for. She couldn't avoid talking to him. This was one thing she yearned for the entire college life. Just to be with him. And now here he was, but she can't have him. But she gave in to the fate, whatever it was.

Their conversation wandered on to different topics. Their college days. The rumours back in those days. Their mutual and not so mutual friends.  His likes and dislikes. Her like and dislikes. They were so amused to find out that there was so much in common. They had the same taste in music, movies, books. They both loved Football, Brasil, Barcelona and Ronaldinho. Both wondered why they didn't even talk during their college. Because if they had, they would have definitely been friends.

After that they were seeing each other a lot . And were talking also.  When they were not talking, they were texting each other. Sometimes they would just walk in the rain and go to the thattukada to have black tea and parippuvada. They would watch the local football games together. Enjoyed movies of Mohanlal together. She was okay with he ogling girls even when she was around. It didn't take much time for him to understand that they were meant for each other.

But there was something unsettling about all this. He had made a commitment and his parents and all his relatives were happy about that. And he didn't want to do anything that would hurt them. But on other side, it was Shary. The girl who left everything to be with him. Whose love he could blindly believe in.

____________________________________________________

He believed he could talk about this to his mom. She had always been the one to hear his emotions and was his pillar of strength. Little did he know that his parents were all aware of the changes happening to their son. One day, when they were sitting down for a tea, Rahul decided to talk to his mom.
"Amma, I wanted to tell you something."
"Tell me dear"
" Amma, you know that Shary and I were classmates , right?"
" Yeah, you told me that day."
"Amma, I  ..... She is a very  nice girl "
" Yeah she is... Infact we were discussing about that this morning also. I want Sreedevi to be exactly like Shary."
"But, all these days  I didn't have the courage to tell you one thing"
"Don't hesitate dear. I'm your mom. You can tell me anything."
"I used to have a huge crush on Shary during college days. She was always like this mom. Making everybody happy. Helping friends. I used to love whatever she did. I loved her smile. Her hair. Her eyes. I thought I would make a fool of myself if I went and asked her to love me.  And that's why i never approached her"
"Monae..."
" Amma, Now when I am friends with her, I know that we have so much in common. We could talk to each other day in and day out. She likes both of you guys. She is perfect for our house. "
"Monae, I know she is the right girl for this house. But its a bit late to approach her parents."

Sudha thought for a moment and said," You know what, you don't worry. I will discuss with your dad. And there is always a way out."

She went straight to her husband and they discussed. All  their relatives had known about the wedding. They were about to fix a date for the wedding. But they didn't want their son to be unhappily married and that too infront of his love. And Shary was the kind of girl, they were looking for in their daughter in law.

Later in the evening , Rahul's dad came upto him and said, "You don't worry about Sreedevi. We will sort that out. We are happy that you want to get married to Shary. We will talk to her parents" Rahul hugged his dad in happiness. "Wait, Rahul ... did you ask Shary about this?" "No , I haven't dad" replied Rahul. " Better do that first and let us know, " said his dad smiling.

_______________________________________________________________________

It was raining again. Shary had forgot to take the umbrella and couldn't risk with the text books in her hand. Shary took shelter in the nearby bus stop when it began raining really hard. Just then her phone beeped. "Where are you?", Rahul. She replied. After a few minutes, she saw him coming in his bike drenched in rain. 

"Do you want a ride?" he asked.

"But its raining"

"So what , its an awesome feeling. Come on na."

"But , everybody will see us".

"I am not asking for a ride just for today, Shary. I want to ride you home everyday . To our home. Will you come?"
She sat there on the bench. Her words caught on her throat.
Rahul stepped inside and kneeled down infront of her.
" I know , I have been an asshole. Not to understand your love through out college. And you had to come all the way here to make me realise that. Man! How stupid I was.
"You better know that". She snapped on his hands with the book in her hand.
"Ouch... But ... I am not anymore. I want to love you more than you could ever  love me."
"I don't think you can do that. Not more than me," She said.
"You are the person whom I want to wake up with. You are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep. You are the one I want to laugh with. To cry with. You are the one I want to kiss. To hug. You are the one I want to make love to. Have kids with "
" Two . Boy and a girl". She was already kneeling .
" Actually I was thinking of two girls exactly like you. But yeah, it works."
He took her hands and got up.
" The thing is that I don't want to spend even a second without you on my side. I don't want to think of a life without you. I want to grow up with you and grow old with you..... And finally Ms. Shary Venugopal, will you be kind enough to marry Mr. Rahul Krishnan?"

Shary was speechless. All she could do was to do nod her head. He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead "Can we go for a ride?". She smiled.

She sat on the back seat. Put her hands around him. Slightly leaned and put her face on the back of his shoulder. Her tears disappeared along with the rain drops falling on her face.  Their worlds were turning around and they were happy about it.

The elusive writer

It was the breeze. Fresh air into the soul. Smirking just paved way to smiles and smiles to laughs. The grass , the trees , the cattle, the fields every one waved at her. Trains are noisy, but the cribbing was pulling her to the flashes from her past.

"I don't know what to answer, but this day is changing everything about us," he texted her back. She called him.It was midnight. Everyone in the room were talking in hushed voices. She also synced into the surroundings although all she wanted to do was to shout from the rooftop. She had fallen in love. 

"Hi, there" 

"Hi".

"What's your name"

"Anna"

He knelt down.

"Anna, I love you". 

And the seniors giggled. It was just ragging. And she played along. When the bell rang, it was time for their first sessions. She had walked away but soon found he was following her. They were going to the same class.

"You didn't tell me your name", she asked.

"Now that I have proposed to you, I guess, you could call me Prince Charming. Just kidding... Rahul." 

"I am sorry Rahul. But this is not working out. I thought we could do it. We are always fighting. The things we used to admire in each other are the things we now hate. We are drifting apart in this single room. When you are early, I am late. I am not there for your success party. And you had to attend a client when I was fired from my job. All of us want a shoulder to cry on. But we are not there for each other. " She was listing all the explanation she had planned in her mind. 

He was teary eyed. So was she. " I guess, we were better as friends".

She had been crying all day in his room. Boxes of half- eaten pastries, chocolates , pizzas were all lying on the floor. Nothing could console her. When he came back.

" Why are you always going out ? I don't want anything to eat. I want you to sit by my side," She shouted.

Just as he sat there on the couch , she started crying again ," He dumped me.....".

" I can understand that. What I can't understand is that why are you still crying over that as if it happened yesterday. It was 2 months back."

" But still,"

"It happens Anna. Life is meant to be like that. Everyone goes through these things ". And she knew it was true.

It was last of all the cans. He knew she couldn't be any less sober. She was done counting the mistakes she made in the math board exam paper 7 years ago. Also was the number of times she had passed out after parties. She was counting the number of her ex-boyfriends now. 

"Why do boys don't like me?, You tell me, Rahul. You are a boy. You should know the reason."

"Its not like that Anna,"

"You and I have been together for so many years. Why didn't you ever think of me as your girlfriend. Am I a behenji?"

"Anna,"

"Shut up, Rahul. Even you , my friend, don't like me. How can I ask anyone else to like me".

She was high as hell. She was weeping again. 

"Anna"

"Shut up you"

"Anna"

"Shut up...." And she felt his mouth on her lips. He was kissing her. He had always wanted to tell her how he felt about her. But she was the one who was not around. She kissed him back. 

"I didn't mean to take any advantage. But I never could have got the courage to tell how much I love you. How I always wanted to tell you that no one but I was right for you. You were the one who never thought of me as your boyfriend. " And then there was the silence.

She got down at her building and he drove back. All the beer cans she emptied had whatsoever no effect on her. She pulled out her cellphone. Texted him, " Are you in love with me ?"

And the final thought.

The train had arrived. She was rushing through the crowd when suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was turning around all ready to snap whoever it was, but then she stopped . It was Rahul. " You in a rush?" . She smiled and hugged him. " Hey bud, I am so sorry yaar. I have to catch this train. Will ping later."

When she was finally settled in her seat. She pulled her phone. One notification.

 Mail from Rahul K.

Sub:- Hi. Will call you later. Wanna share something.

Attachment : Wedding Invitation.

.

Ananya's Spirituality

Growing up a child is a really big thing. And very hard too. For days you ask her to say chichi when she intends to pee and then one day she starts saying chichi right after peeing, you feel that your efforts have not gone in vain. You are so..o happy.

Have you heard of this? When new-borns smile in their sleep, it is said that God had secretly whispered some joke in their ears and that's why they are smiling. Such a cute thing na. I had started showing Ananya how to pray when she was 4 months old. So every night when we would finally go to our room which is upstairs  I  would ask her to touch the two idols kept on the corners of the staircase and then say her prayers rhymingly.
  Thambaayi..amuthine kaathurakshikane
   sothumuthine kaathurakshikane
   oru kedum koodathe varuthane
   rogam vannaal vegam bedhamaaki tharane
* Oh God, please always save my amuth, please save my sothumuth, let her never have any disease and if she has any disease please cure her as fast as possbile*

I dont remember when she started understanding these words. One day she started smiling when she heard these prayers. And then when I made her to hold her palms together, she held it together until the end of the prayer. She has been doing it ever since.

Today Ananya 'prays' everytime she sees lamps or portraits of Gods. And she never gets tired of it. She even reminds me to touch those idols in the staircase lest I forget it. And I found out that almost all the kids react in a similar fashion to "Gods". Maybe today they don't understand the meaning of Spiritualiy but they are the only ones who turn to God with the same purity everytime. They really love God. We, adults, have a lot to learn from them. Isn't it?



P.S. :-I really thought that I would be writing my first fiction as the next post. But it seems that fiction is not my cup of tea.

Blunders of the past

Firstly I am so sorry for the last post. I myself find it to be so incoherently written. Some of the lines which had to be explained further was just bluntly written. I never intended to do so. But you do know about my skills with a touch screen mobile. So Red Handed here's the clarification for the blogging lingo. Of course every blogger has his or her own way of writing. But a common thing is that may be because most of us want even a layman to understand it, we keep it simple. Or so to say there's a certain tone to how a blog is written. Certainly not a "professional" way. That's what I intended when I wrote the word lingo. And yes television, in the past it was either entirely conversational or entirely narrative. Taking a midway seemed so synchronous with the blogs.


Phew. . So what's making news these days. Well of course AAP is there. Their u-turn is certainly hitting the headlines. Thanks to FB, I am reasonably well informed of the current affairs if not all. Particularly since I have distanced myself from TV and newspaper. Well of course like many others I was also all in for AAP in the beginning but these days ahem ...

But of course we are not here to talk about AAP's blunders. Instead its all about me. For the past few days I have been trying to recollect and sort out incidents from the past. After chotti communi grew up.

There was a certain period in my life where in I was really dumb. Schooling marks the beginning of that era. I was not that academically weak. But I never wanted to understand why we were studying what we were supposed to.

1. Our principal once came in to our school to fill in our SUPW hour. He considered himself to be a math-genius or was he? Whatever. So he started explaining about REAL NUMBERS. "so what's the real purpose of these real numbers? Why do we use them? " he asked. A very valid question... Being a shorty I was always placed in the front row. And because of that insecurity I always used to be heads down, a very successful way of escaping teachers questions. But this time I was being poked by Vinod. And when I lifted my head, I saw our principal's fingers pointing me. Damn it. " To completely represent the number line" , I said. Ha ha ha.... He laughed," that's so similar to saying that you buy potatoes to put them in your pocket". The whole class laughed. To this day I don't know the answer to the question because at that moment I was just thinking about how my classmates would tease me after the class.

2. The principal was so pathetically addicted to maths. So when our 10th classes began, we were sorted into three sections, purely on the basis of maths scores, for a maths class during the assembly time. Now of all the people, I got into the first batch where our princi thought were our future IITians. So one day we were given a test paper IIT standard wala. One problem was solved stepwise and our question was to write whether the steps were correct or incorrect. We were supposed to explain why those "steps" were taken and yours truly wrote

Step 1:__________ correct
Step 2: __________ correct
Step 3:__________ correct
Step 4:__________ the final answer is correct.

3. KV has its summer vacation during May and June. Eventhough June was not "summer" in kerala, it meant that I was never able to celebrate my bday at school. I could never wear a new bday dress to school or distribute chocolates to my classmates. Even in the college june was exam time. But S8 we had classes in June and I wanted to celebrate my bday elaborately. But cash was limited. So I just bought munch for the girls alone. Somehow the boys also came to know about it. Next day morning I saw "is this the way to celebrate a bday" on the blackboard. Lesson learned if you can't do smething secretly don't do it.

4. Farewell party. I was never a famous girl. So I was highly surprised when the guy compering called upon me to emote actor Suresh Gopi. His famous dialogue pa pulle... Ormayundo ee mugham. Two other girls did it decently well and left the stage. My first phrase pa pulle was heavily applauded. I got excited. But then I always had this stage fright which made me say ormayundo ee megham.....*pore pooram*

5. Eventhough I know that I am not a bad singer, I don't even hum in public. The problem is that I have lyricsforgottophobia. Simply I forget them. But during one lazy afternoon at office, "emotional atyachar" stung my tongue. I just couldn't get it off. Things went off guard when I was walking to other end of the hall and I was singing literally loudly. Almost everyone in the hall stood up.

 Well I see that its already a long post.*yawns* . Blunders haven't ended but I am winding up for now.

P.S. :- What I have learned is I can only ask Ananya to understand what she studies in future not force her. If she can't who else to blame for the rotten DNA passed on.

P.S.S.:- The principal in the stories above is no more. He passed away few years back but not before he got his share of irutadi (literally he was beaten up in the dark)from his students' parents. Even after his death, I still cannot sympathise over him. He was such a terror back then. Ironically his was a punishment transfer to our school.

P.S.S.:- Mallus....please watch Drishyam. I haven't recommended a film in a long time. But this one's awesome.

its new year...

*Its 31st dec. And I am reading anita's blog on Christmas. It has been pending for a few day now. The post ends saying that it might well be the last post of the year. And something strikes me. Oh shit. The desultory mind. I type the address in the address bar. March 2013. Thank God. Something has been already written for this year. Yep, that's me. And that's how my blog works. Just so that I don't miss 2013 in my archives.

Jan 1st.So there's a lot of time to post, exactly 365 days. I hope its not a leap year. Communi back to the snail mode. *

Guys... Happy new year. 2014 is here and I kneel down and pray to God, please please let this be a better year. 2013 was definitely bad. Some of the events I don't even wanna remember had occured in this year. Of course. Ananya was always there. Her pretty smiles, actions, everything has been the wound heeler.

Come to think of it. I haven't written a word since March. Of course I have been on a lazier mood for the past few years, but atleast I used to think about blogging once in a while. These days its not even about getting inspired. But more so its about the mind. I had so..o wanted to write everything Ananya did. But... I promise you my sweetheart, I'll take all the effort to jot down those lovely moments with you so that one day you can relive those.

*Sweet kisses to the lil mischievous girl sleeping beside me. She has been haunted by a series of illness for the past two months. Poor baby. Though nothing has stopped her from throwing tantrums every now and then. *

When I started writing this post, I was a lil hesitant. But I now feel the gush of words. Its flowing. I have never felt that I am grammatlly pakka. But it had never stopped me from writing. And now I feel the pure pleasure of blogging. The only problem being my phone. I still haven't learned to type in this qwerty keypad. Dictionary was way easier in N72.

Talking about blogging, l find blogging lingo has creeped into television. I find the narration in the travelogues particularly the foodie ones having blog lingo. You know what I mean, right. Yesterday I saw a cute lady chef in food food channel preparing some Christmas delights. She was the one who made me think in this direction. She had both the narrative part and the dialogue parts. She was going on talking about being graceful in everything you do. Even while you are kneading dough for the cake. Really...

Whatever. Before even  2nd Jan finishes, let me post this or lazy me will wait for another day without contributing anything. And 2nd Jan reminds me... 3 of my classmates have 2nd Jan as birthday. So happy birthday guys.

P. S. :- Please forgive me for all the grammatical mistakes. I won't be able to find mistakes in a phone even if I read it a 100 times.

P. P. S :- I am quite skeptical about how the post would actually look like in the computer. I have no idea about the alignment of the pics.

She has arrived...the love of my life

"Prajitha, it's a girl", the Doc said.
"Mole (beti), it's a girl", the nurse near me repeated.
Tears rolled out my eyes. Half because I was happy and half because I could only vaguely see her. My -5.0 sight only allowed so much. I muttered, "thanks".

It was only after an hour or so that I saw her properly. Tears rolled through my eyes again. She was the one whom we longed for. She has come into our lives after almost two and half years. After a lot of prayers. A wee bit from heaven. The love of our lives. Ananya.

At first sight, Ananya was all A. Her nose, her lips were all his. A and me, we both have small eyes and so did Ananya. And her small ears were surely mine. But on the whole, she was a lot closer to A. She was keeping her fingers open and not folded which was how I thought newborns would do . She had so less hair that I thought God actually planned for a boy and later on changed it. I gently kissed her forehead. Must say Johnson's have become so influential in every mother's life. There wasn't any other place I wanted to kiss her for the first time.

Now after 3 months, some say she looks like me, some say she she looks like A. One thing is confirmed - that she definitely doesn't look like how she used to look on the first day. She has completely changed. Going through sleepless nights, I now understand that how much so ever you prepare over your pregnancy, each day with your child is a surprising one, you learn a new lesson everyday.

But the most important lessons are the ones I learned during the time I was carrying her. I conceived after almost 1 and 3/4 years of marriage, almost 2 years. I know how it feels like when you know that people sympathise behind your back and sometimes laugh too. To how many persons should I go and explain that we hadn't lived together enough because of his shippie job. He had sailed for almost a year(two times combined) after our marriage before I conceived Ananya. I know how it feels like loosing one eventhough the happiness was just a week old. Not even confirmed. We both carried the pain for eight months not having each other's shoulder to cry on. He had gone sailing right after. I will never ever hurt the feelings of others just because I got a child. For some it might be their choice, who am I to question them? For some it might be their sadness, I will never be a sadist to dug their wounds.

Moving on .. the nine months of pregnancy is the one you really can cherish. People always on the lookout to help you. Every of your relatives and non-relatives come ask for your health and bring you sweets and fruits. Suddenly you have become more important. And people give you so many advices during your pregnancy and after delivery. Do this. Do that. Some are good. But most of the time you feel like going up straight to the lady and twist her arms and say if you ever advise me again, I am so..o gonna kill you. But then in reality, you just nod. Losing temper is not good for your child. And one more thing, a beautiful pregnant woman is a complete myth. Even your face gets inflated like a balloon. So how could you look charming.

Anyways I still haven't got out of the excitment . I still feel overwhelmed. I still wonder how this tiny little thing was there in my belly all the time. Her smiling. Her crying. It amazes me every time. I try to make her laugh and when she smiles, I'm all happy. I feel elated when she identifies me as her mom. She's all funny,you know. The way she does so many things, I have a lot to write about. It would take a whole new post. Next time.

26 !!!

Its been such a long time. I regret to write this line every now and then in my blog, but seriously, I kind of have lost my fluency with words or I cant think in  terms of words these days. I still remember the days when ideas always struck me on my bus journey to office. Really, those were the days, man!

I was totally intending to write on the day I turned 26. I had so many thoughts then. Must say 26 is a very tragic age to be, for me atleast. I have this strange feeling of getting old after I turned 26. Only one or two girls of our batch are yet to married and 90% of those married have already made their contribution to the country’s population. And the percentage of guys who got married is oscillating between 40 and 50. But its when the guys in your batch start having kids, that you exactly feel Grand-old. Now that that count has risen to 3, I am already feeling like a Granny.

Even though I must confess that technically, I have been in the Granny post for the past 3 years. All thanks to my Grandma who gave birth to 5 children with such spacing between them. Yeah, same to you Grandpa! Anyway I’m not going to let Aleikh (that’s my grandson) call me Granny. We seldom meet, so it’s kind of calming.
Anyways, there have been some major changes in me which I kind of noticed past 25. Like, I can watch a comedy show, comedy movie without a slight change in my lip length. Yeah, I guess I forget to laugh on such occasions. I have patience for everything in life. My genre of movies has changed from romcom to anything-but-horror-and-easy-to-digest. I can watch all 3 parts of Transformers for the umpteenth time.

I have started watching serials. These days I have been watching Iss pyar ko kya naam doon, Saath nibhana saathiya, Pyar ka dard hai, Honge judha na hum and sometimes I watch all the other ones in Star Plus just for timepass. Infact, my serial addiction has gone onto such a level that I have influenced my mom to watch it. Her understanding of hindi which had quite stopped after we got cable connection some 10 years back, is now improving. That’s quite remarkable na.

And I have become addicted to cookery shows and also to reading recipes in the magazines. Infact, these days I have experimented a lots of recipes, including rasagullas. Since I have mentioned it, I must also say that it was a failure. The rasagullas became so hard when they were kept in the refrigerator.

Anyways I intend to keep the enthu of writing going for atleast this month. My internet connection is a superb one. I can watch movies without buffering. Just skype is posing problems unknown to me. So chao for now.

Lessons learned in 2011

Happy New Year all you guys. I hope you all have a good year ahead. One that doesn't make you say that 'Oh Shit, 2011 was so much better'. I just wish I do all the blunders, all the mistakes, all the stupidities this year which can make it to my blog. Hehe :)

Since the year I took a new-year-resolution that I won't be taking any new year resolutions, I have been strictly following it. So what to write on this year's very first post. Ok! lemme write about the lessons learned during 2011.

1. Love dogs(in a broader sense pets). Put your husband and your dog in the luggage space of your car for an hour. After that open it to find out who loves you more :)

2. I have a very big apetite. A few days back I ate a full-biriyani for the first time in my life.

3. I am totally a vegetarian at heart. I still have feelings for the hens who sacrificed their lives for my tummy to satisfy.

4. Write more or atleast write something or else I will lose touch. I just don't know if I will be ever be an author which was my wish a few years ago,

5. Life before and after marriage are totally different.

6. Never ever love your job OR hate your boss as much as possible 'coz they both don't love you back.

7. People who think they are intelligent are actually not. That includes yours truly also.

8. I love love Rajnikant. If I had my go, I would certainly marry him. Over the years, love and respect for him has only increased.

9. N72 is a terrific gadget. So I have decided to live with it for more years to come. The dream of owning a Blackberry has been postponed till May 2013.

10. Driving is not my cup of tea. I have been struggling with an Activa for all these days. I live in Kochi near Kaloor. So guys, please avoid these places, k?

11. I am leaving politics for good. Its better to have I- don't-like-politics look than I-have-no-idea look. Got me?

12. I suck at mathematics. $200= Rs 880. Guess who calculated it?

13. I totally need a good picture. Realisation dawned when I needed a cover picture for my facebook timeline.

14. My blog is never gonna be so..o famous. So its high time I stop being so cautious about my identity. But since I so love 'Communi', I won't change it. But I will be more lenient.

15. I love making lists. And now you know it.

Chalo, I am winding up for now. Tata ...

Sweetest Moment

I visited my Achamma(Grandma) yesterday at my Aunt's and was so surprised to hear this from her.

Aunt : Amma, thenga kku englishil entha paraya ( naariyal ko English mein kya kehte hai)
Achamma: Coconut
Aunt : Pinne 25 ino?
Achamma : Twenty Five *Sounding more like twentyphive*

My Achamma is almost 96 years old. Never had formal education. Just the homeschooling her humble family could afford in a time when parents never thought of educating their daughters. But then the quick learner she is, she is well versed with Ramayana and Mahabharata. She was married off to my Grandpa at a tender age of 14 and after that she was pretty busy with farming and giving birth to her 5 kids.

And at this age, she doesn't remember anyone of us. A year back she atleast had my father, her first kid, in her memory, but now she seems to have gone back to her childhood and doesn't even remember the fact that she was married. And English.... coming from her mouth... I couldn't be more happier and surprised. * Wide Smiles*

P.S.:- Its for these moments I love the blogworld. My memories eternalised.

P.S.S :- Just finished Revolution 2020. Not as bad as the reviews I heard. The problem, I guess, is that having written about his life in the first few books, we expect him to deliver the same(the Chetan- effect as one of my friend referred it) in each and every book. Well the first part of Chetan meeting a guy who has a story to tell has become so..o repetitive.

P.S.S.S :- Anyways R2020 was quite a relief from the hangover of " Oh, Shit, Not Again". Man, we were so deceived by the back cover page. Please never, ever read it. Such a pathetic one.

Back and how???

Seriously I have no idea why it never struck me that I even had a blog for the past one year. And having a job is the lamest of all excuses I can claim. And now jotting down something now just for the sake of having 2011 on my archives, Shame on me. But I sincerely apologise my bloggie dear for having let her not be a part of my life this year.

Anyhoo..life this year has been a rollercoaster ride. Faced its ups and lows. Went through all kinds of emotion. Pretty much like every year. And this May marked a year of loving and caring, fighting and apologising, getting onto each others nerves, of being me and A together. And this is December, so this is 1.5 yrs, next May it will be 2 and the one after that.......just kidding. (you really think I have gone out of touch...me too). Anyways the best part of coming-back-now is that I am now thinking in terms of words, just like ol' times. Getting into the groove.

So this post is all about updates, crisp and clear.

Since the last post, I went on from jobless to jobful. Again. On the other side of the counter of bank. Yep, I am now a "Banker". Enjoying all the laziness and uneargerness of a clerk. Just the way I wanted. March saw KK and Kamini getting married. So we are roommates now (before you think anything else, just reminding you that our husbands have gone sailing). April saw Roger coming into our lives and sharing a space with Richie. Both don't realise that they are Dachshunds, and bark as if they are Bulldozers. I guess, by now A is really convinced that I can look after a dog, his biggest passion. I dread his dream of opening of a kennel with a minimum of 10 dogs.

And yeah of course April was also the month of accident. A suffered a hairline fracture while I being on the 'lighter' side had a parabolic fall, thus making me less prone to injuries. My specs, our phones escaped the tragedy but my heart-shaped white gold ring didn't make it. May...I told you already. June..nah nothing special.
Things after July has been monotonic. Just the job and a few outings. Not that I want to have another accident and get bedridden, but its so boring. Boring....may be not. Yeah, I do have a boss I could loathe about. Some unique colleagues. More on them in my forthcoming posts. Watch out for more.

P.S. :- No time for rechecking the grammatical mistakes.

P.S.S:- I am still wondering how many of fav bloggers have reduced their writings or completely stopped it. I'm waiting for Shanu's. Want more from Lakshmi, Dhanya, Jibu and everyone. Please write more, you guys. Neha you are doing splendid dear. :)

P.S.S.S :- Still to learn about the new Dashboard.

Another 10th December

December 10, 2010

I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

Think it was yesterday
I enjoyed every bit of everyday

There's no rush at 8
To catch the bus that was never late
Nobody to pull my blanket
Nobody asking me for treat to clear my wallet
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

I may have more birthdays to come
Myself drenched in soap and lather, will I have seldom
I might have all the cakes I ask for
But not the one we friends used to fight for
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

We might plan lots of trips
Would it be any good as the late night walk in the campus under the lamps
I might be wearing new dresses everyday
Will it make it up to the t-shirt of a friend on every friday
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

There won't be any deadlines for codes
Wearing the dupatta masks, I wouldn't be crossing those roads
I won't have a hostel room to go to
Where I'll have a bunch of friends to talk to
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

I don't have to go to ATMs
To take out the last of hundreds
To recharge my mobile
Because we had to finish our fight on who will call who for a while
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

There won't be anymore holi
Or playing daandiya just for jolly
We won't be dancing with our RM
Just because the DJ was playing songs awesome
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

We won't be fighting anymore over the tour to Wonderla
Who says we didn't have a gala
We won't be running anymore marathons
To get the certificates and pose for the mobile phones
I try and try
Not to cry
Not today atleast

Good times are past me
Realisation dawns only later on me
If my thoughts are all right
I die only as a Satyamite

P.S. :- Again a 10th Dec. 3yrs have past after the first day at job. Today maybe Satyam doesn't exist. May be I don't belong to its new form. But each of us still have the same sense of belonging to Satyam. I don't remember any of my friends from other companies updating about their service anniversary. We do it even when most of us don't belong to Satyam

"Another Dec 10th. One more day to remember those golden days we spent with satyam. Happy Service Anniversary to all satyam Pals.Still when i remember those smiles, tears keep rolling down my face.Miss u all.." - Jibu

"Today is a very memorable day in my life since it was dis day 3 yrs ago whn wid dreams and hopes in my eyes tht I startd my journey wid Satyam,it still continues wid Mahindra Satyam :) :) :)" - Vishu

"My 3rd Service Anniversary today....Satyam sivam sundaram.." - SK

"Congrats to all ELTP 865 - 867
Today we all completed 3 yrs of experience..
Was the most memorable journey so far..." - Sanket

 And yours truly wrote

"Another 10th Dec... A day associated with hopes, aspirations, friendship, love, joy, tension, dreams, tragedies, tears, fun...Thanks to all. Missing all you guys!!! Terribly!!!"

 P.S.S. :- Why is that I can't control my tears.

P.S.S.S :- Its my first take on poems and rhyming is the last of the skills I have.

Robot (Endhiran) -Review

Well,being an ardent fan or rather AC of Rajni, its too hard for me to write an impartial review of Robot. But I'll try. Before that, let me tell you one thing. There are only 2 kinds of people on earth, 1. People who love Rajnikant and 2. people who hate Rajnikant. The former set of people would write a review like the one you're about to read. The latter ones would totally slash this movie as unrealistic and stupid.

The story revolves around Dr. Vaseegaran, a scientist played by Rajnikant, who makes an android-humanoid robot Chitti, also played Rajnikant and Sana, Dr. Vasi's girlfriend, played by Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Chitti who was made for the purpose of reducing human killings in the warfront lacks in the understanding of good and bad. Things turn around when Vasi try to include human emotions into Chitti. Chitti falls in love with Sana and then ofcourse a love-triangle. Vasi's envious mentor Dr. Bora, played by Danny Denzongpa, manipulate Chitti into playing the bad guy.

Robot works beyond the obvious storyline. It's the terrfic heights of execution the film reaches which makes it work so well. Forget those silicon dabbas in other sci-fi bollywood movies, this robot looks more realistic. The small sequence in which you see 100s of robots trying to form into patterns explains the entire climax which in turn will make your jaws drop with awe. 100s of Rajnikants together- Thats enough for me for a lifetime. I can die on that.

The second half becomes sluggish at certain points, particularly, the scene in which Chitti chases a mosquito. Quite forgettable. And much for the reassurance of non-Rajnikant-fans, Dr. Vasi never becomes super-human and thrashes the bad guys.

Acting- This is Rajnikant's forte. He's totally likeable both as Chitti and Vasi. Aishwarya is the beauty you want in such a movie, somebody you want even a robot to fall in love with. Danny is appreciable. But on the whole, the film doesn't demand too much from its actors. Special effects due take the entire credit.

Music- After a long time, A R Rahman has given such a forgettable album. The picturisation comes to its rescue. The Kilimanjaro song is breathe taking.

Finally, it's a movie you shouldn't miss anyhow. Once in, not lifetime because technology is something you can hardly predict, may be in the near future.

P.S :- I watched the movie with my mother-in-law and Molly chechi and Kichu, all of whom hate Rajnikant. The most disheartening thing- when Maa said that she watched the movie just because of Aishwarya and Mollychechi nodded to that.

P.S.S :- Probably watching this movie at Palakkad would've been much better experience. Having to watch a tamil movie with a crowd which wouldn't understand half of what is said on the screen is like... hell, man.

P.S.S.S :- Just so you know, I hate Aishwarya to the core. And I sometimes can't stand her.

Birthdays with a twist??

Birthdays are always special. But when your birthday is in June. You'll hate it. You can't wear civil-dress to your school nor can you distribute chocolates to your classmates. And what if your father doesn't believe in celebrating birthdays and your mother always tend to forget your birthday. For years I had to suffer such ignorance (My damn lucky brother had his birthday in November which meant he could celebrate his birthday in his class). And my memory of childhood-birthday-celebration was the one and only one birthday I celebrated while I was in the fifth grade. All the neighbours were called and a feast was given to all of 'em. Thats all.

When I was working, I had two suuuper special birthdays. All my friends near me. Cutting the cake, those midnight calls to wish me, cake facials. Birthday treat at dinshaws. Oooh...nostalgic memories. Coming back.

Your first birthday with your spouse. Sounds special na. Coz you know they are never gonna forget it anyways. Nahi toh maar padegi. And think of this. When your birthdays fall on more precious days. A's birthday was on May 31st, the day next to our wedding. And mine was on June 6th, the day on which our Reception was held. We both were in cloud nine.

A's dialogue :- This is my most special birthday. I'm getting you as my birthday gift na.
Yours truly sighs.

So to make his birthday much more special, I conspired with KK into sneaking a birthday card into my new house on my wedding day. And when the clock struck twelve, I gave him the card and planted a kiss on his surprised cheeks.

June 5, 11.59 pm

My N72 was buzzing with birthday messages from around the country. Yeah I have friends all around the country and now all around the globe :-P

Communi to A :- Do you think you're missing something?
A (who was packing his clothes for the next day's Palakkad visit):- What ?? What did I miss?
Communi :- Like saying something.
A(perplexed):- What??
Communi :- I mean, do you want to say something?? to me??
A (perplexed again).

Just then the door knocks. It was KK. He was standing with a birthday card on his hand. KK wished me birthday with a hug and passed on Kamini's wishes also. I glanced A with a look-that-was-what-I-was-talking-about look. He smiled and said, "For that, you have to wait".

And it was worth the wait. At the function, I was the star. Dressed like a princess. Everyone who came there wished me on my birthday. After the function, we were supposed to leave for Palakkad and I was busy getting thmy bags ready.And just when I thought the day was over, A and KK came with a birthday cake. And thus I celebrated my first birthday at sasuraal with umpty relatives in the house.

What happened on May 30?

4 months is too long a break, isn't it? I apologise to all guys who have missed me and I sincerely warn those guys who feel happy about me not writing stupid stuff anymore... "Guys, I'm BACK ;)"

So this is what happens when you have a seafarer husband. When he's at home, you wake up at 7 and you're not back to your room until 3 am the next morning. Now that he's back onboard and I'm back to my home, I'm all set for a new era of my blog. And officially this is my first post as Mrs. A. Congratulate me.  Btw, in the past few days I learned one thing, that I'm so much accustomed to MY computer. Maybe that's why I could never post anything while I was at my sasuraal. Weird huh?

The D-Day

How could I ever keep my blog or my friends here away from the things that happened on the big day of my life. If I ever skip this part of my life, it will sound just like a B-grade movie with a continuity problem. Take it guys, you've no option left.

The most ironic part of my wedding is that I had never imagined my wedding to take place at a temple. Getting registered at a CPI(M) office ...Yes(Infact, I wished for some leftist professor of Victoria College... call it cliche!). Getting married at Railway Kalyanamandapam ...Yes. But temple wasn't really my idea. And that too at Guruvayoor, the most busiest of all temples in Kerala after Sabarimala. There was no plan-B in case he misses me and gets married to another girl. I was also warned by many aunties to keep holding the thali (mangalsutra) after the ceremony, coz you normally don't get enough time to tie it properly.

Anyways on that day, we were supposed to reach Guruvayoor by 8 so that I my beautician aunty would get enough time to dress me up for the 10.30 muhurtham. So I woke up at 3 and got ready by 5. It was for the very first time I wore saree on my own. After about one-hour of posing-for-the-cameras-and-getting-aashirwaad session, we started for Mission Guruvayoor. My very own cousin (remember him from the love letters post), who would have certainly shined as an F1 racer, made us reach Guruvayoor at 7 sharp, almost an hour ahead. Well, I hardly saw him driving because I was busy sleeping on Amma's shoulder.

Even when me and my beautician aunty were struggling with the 6 foot lamba-choudha saree, I overheard conversations between my relatives if my beautician should use Birla Wallcare Putty on my face to make me look OK before the cameras. But I guess, they must have dropped the idea for the lack of consensus. By 10, I got all dressed up.

Even PM of India would envy if he had seen me getting a Z-category protection from my cousins when we walked out of the hotel to the temple. It was such a crowdy place. And everybody seemed to stare at me. And I too was staring at them. And my stare meant the following- "Are you my relative?", "If so,Should I smile at you?",  "Who are you?". When I finally reached the mandapam, I saw A visibly confused. (Yeah, I forgot to tell you that I was wearing lens that day and the only ones who appreciated me doing that was Korattymuthy and Tudymol). When our names were called he held my hands with a whatever-the-heck-I'm-going-to-marry-this-girl look on his face. Who could blame the grooms getting confused on their wedding days.

Thankfully, we had a very elaborate ceremony of wedding. There was not much of a confusion when we were up on the stage. My nightmares of falling down the stairs also didn't come true. Somehow it all went fine.
Wedding is one occassion where you definitely know nobody loses attention for you. Suddenly all of your relatives become friendly. You smile at people who you haven't seen at all. You talk to people whom you haven't heard of. The most tedious task of all -Posing for the cameras with a smiling face. At the end of the day, your cheeks start aching and even if you want, you can't smile.
Another ritual during the weddings is of the relatives feeding the new couple with milk which has sugar and banana slices added. A seemed so comfortable doing that but I was begging to all my relatives not to take spoonful of the syrup. "Cheriacha,  please take just one piece of banana, not two". I still wonder how I managed not going to the loo that entire day.

Horrific times:- After the ceremony we had another task of registering the marriage at the Muncipality office. Waiting there for almost 2 hours, we were running out of time. We were supposed to reach Ekm by 4.30 for grihapravesham. Adding on to that the driver started driving superbly slow. We reached home at just about 4.28. We literally had to run towards the house- my one hand had been held by Paa and with the only left one I was trying to hold my saree. Right when I was getting into the house with that big lamp on my hands, crackers were burst. It was a total dhamaka. Eventhough I enjoyed the warm welcome, my nightmares of dropping things and falling on my big day were still haunting me.

Anyways that was my BIG day. Thought it would never happen. But it has happened and it has been 4 long months after that.

P.S.:- Nothing about the food in this post and that's precisely because I hardly remember its taste. Maybe I never bothered to eat it. I hate the kalyanasadhya of Thrissur and particularly Guruvayoor and I felt sorry that my wedding had to have the same. I hope I can make upto it in my brother's marriage. All I want him is to get married to a Palakkadan girl atleast for a good Palakkadan sadhya.

P.S.S. :- Why is that Hindu marriages don't have the Now-you-may-kiss-the-bride part? So..o unromantic na.

P.S.S.S :- Today is the anniversary of me getting hitched to A. And my husband is hopefully talking about this to the sea right now.

Intro to in-laws

What's the last thing you expect a bride to do? Maybe write a post on the day previous to her marriage, or write a post on the day of marriage? I'm doing the former one, so you can well expect the latter one too from me. Just kidding yaar!! Who says brides are busy these days!

And what better post than introducing my in-laws to my blogworld . I have been quite low about them because of the confusion in naming them, but it would only be unfair if I weren't writing about them atleast today. I'm settling down with "A" for my till-today-fiance-tom-husband. Decent name would be the comment I get, I know. Paa, Maa respectively for my father-in-law and mother-in-law. And No, these names have not been inspired from Paa, the movie. I coined it a little earlier than that. Long back I had heard some girl using "P. Achan", "E. Achan" as phone names for her father and her father-in-law who live in Palakkad and Ernakulam respectively. LOL :)

OK! My bro-in-law, KK ( or Kuttikattil.com). Derived from the very famous malayalam kids show just to remind us that his love interest studies at Kuttipuram. And then Kamini, KK's fiance. There is a big story behid this name. Remember Kaminey, the movie. Our little prankster, who's acclaimed for her hindi knowledge, once accidently pronounced it as Kamini. Henceforth, the name. But the story doesn't end there. KK, another legend in Hindi, continued the same pronounciation until somebody pointed out the mistake. But boys being boys, KK just revealed the first part of the story to me and later on A told me the whole version.


Honeymoon talks:

A :- Which is the one place you want to go to?
Me :- Kolkata it is.
A :- Ok! Do you know it costs very less to travel to Singapore? Do you wanna go there?
Me :- Hhmmmm........only if I go to Kolkata first.
A :- Tell me someother place you want to go?
Me :- Coorg. Heard its a damn good place.
A:-Is it ? Haven't heard of it at all. How about Munnar?
Me :- Munnar...ha...it's also a good place.
A :- Yeah. But it can be costly na.
Me :- Then we can come over to Palakkad and visit Silent Valley and Neliyampathy with our family. It would be a family tour.
A :- No, its our honeymoon!!
Me :- Then I see only one option. Lets put a "Do not disturb" board infront of our room.
A :- Great. Its settled then !

Conspiring against KK

KK :- Chechi, I would throw you out of the house if you don't cook properly ;)
Me:- Acha... you know what I will put salt in your tea.
Kamini :- Chechi, we won't cook fo him at all.
Me :- Beware KK, we will just give you old-boiled-rice and chutney.
Kamini :- Chechi, thats too much chechi. Just give him the leftover water of the old-rice...

P.S.:- I'm getting married tom at Guruvayoor. Everybody are welcome there. Don't come complaining that you missed the function or couldn't locate us. Its bound to happen.

P.P.S :- Felt bad about just one PS ;)

Because We Are Women

"Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repititious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a real "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural andbecause we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and... for lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement."

Written by some unknown author in an international conference, I feel, these have been the most powerful words I have ever come across about the movement. I am not here to accuse all the males on earth for being all those stated above, but it's for sure that every woman has come across each of these people at certain points of time.

A fellow colleague who nags about his female TL for delegating work. The same person working under a male TL who dumps work on him doesn't attract the same kind of attention. A mistake in his fellow female colleague is blown out of proportion than a male colleague.

Rapists walk in the streets head held high, while rape victims are cornered, verbally molested again and again by the society.

You get harrassed in public for questioning a male who had harrassed you in a bus. You get beaten in a bus for asking the change back from the conductor. You get pinched in the back when you go for a movie or travel in a bus.

You're expected not to react.

We call them chauvinist pigs, but who makes them chauvinists?? The mother who asks her girl child to wash her soiled plates and also of her brother. The mother who doesn't let his son wash his clothes. The aunty who constantly reminds a girl that "patni ki jagah pati ke charno mein hain". The woman who is the first one to shout at a rape victim that she's not worthy of living in the world. WE make them chauvinists and we complain against them.

I might as well have been one among crores of women who get silently pinched, harrassed and believe that it was fault and fate. But I always chose to react eventhough it is in the minutest of the minute character.

I might as well have written a blog about some funny stuff but the fact that I'm in the so called "God's own country" and the backseater-pinchers are aplenty put me to think and write about it. Highest literacy rate? Maybe also has the highest registered and unregistered eve-teasing cases. On my first journey from Hyd to Palakkad, I had to take a KSRTC bus from Cbe to Palakkad. While I was getting down the bus, somebody welcomed me back to Kerala by trying my butt. And my thoughts-  if this butt was a removable one, I would have definitely gifted it to that unknown person, if it could satisfy his sexual tendencies even for a few days.

Yeah I'm saying it, don't go by the tag lines, Kerala could be the worst place you visit if you're not of a hi-fi class. It's devil's residence. And I hate to be proud of Kerala.

Female infanticide?? There was a time when I used to sympathise those unborn female babies. Not anymore. Atleast they don't have to see this big bad world which don't know how to respect a woman, they won't be molested, they won't be harrassed for being a girl.

P.S. :-  I still don't understand the meaning of feminism and hence I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanitarian.

P.P.S :- This is my 50th post. Happy 50 bloggy baby!!

Daddy's Girl or Mommy's Girl?

Have you ever felt the urge to write so many things on your blog, but still can't do it because sometimes it rains heavily, sometimes the power goes off and moretimes you doze off to sleep. Well I've been in that state for a few days now. And this internet connection is also testing my patience. But I'm finally sitting down to key down my thoughts.

First things first, I am on the verge of starting a new life altogether, taking up a few more responsibilties of being a wife, a bahu, a bhaabhi etc etc. I'm equally excited and tensed about it. But these 6-7 months after the betrothal has given me a chance of getting acquainted with all my in-laws and more or less I'm a bit prepared. Given the fact that this is the last month of my spinisterhood, The Desultory Mind here will be celebrating a Bachelorette Party all through this month. Food, wine, hot hunks....ok ...you can always assume them to be present here. ;)

Once you're in such a position in your life, you tend to rewind all your past. And just as Chaos Theory states there is an underlying pattern in all random acts, you find things that happened in your life - even those insignificant things- have resulted in what is happening to you now. Call it Science or fate.

Ok! Enough with the philosophy. Have you seen the movie Rumor Has It? The one with Jennifer Aniston and in which she does one of my favorite filmy-proposals. She says,"I won't say that I can't live without you because I can. But I don't want to live without you". But the point is that somehow, it put me to think about the how much Amma and I are alike and Achan and Iare alike.

I don't look like either of 'em. I'm more of like a hybrid breed. I find my nose a combo of Amma's and Achan's. The gene for my small-face must have come from Achan. My teeth attributed to Amma. But characterwise, I am neither of 'em. Well they both seem to be very patient with every thing. But I'm very hot-tempered. Thanks to Achan's constant prying, me and my brother both are very hot-tempered.

Amma and I are nocturnal animals (She would totally deny this). We love to go for late-evening shoppings, concerts and etc. And we are crazy about afternoon naps. We cannot survive without that. And as for shopping, we are very unusual shopoholics.The budget always runs in the back of the mind. The last thing we want to shop is clothes. We prefer eatables. Amma goes for the vegetables and I stick around the Maggi, Knorr corner.

I am a very political person because of Achan. It's from him that I learned about Politics, Indian History, Communism, its history in Kerala. And even when he was turning into a Hinduist, I sticked to Communsim. We both are pathetic with numbers, be it phone numbers or historically important dates. We are also pathetic with "people". We can't remember them and also forget how we're related them. I can't remember my own relatives, let alone remember the relatives of my friends and neighbours. A little bit of my creative instincts like drawing comes from him.

The list goes on and on, but may be some other time.

Chotti Communi Stories

Foetus Communi was a Movie Fanatic

Doctor had set 6th June as the d-date for Amma, for the delivery. Amma till then mother of one-little-obedient child never had forseen that her dreadful days were about to begin. On the d-day, eventhough Amma didn't experience any pain, still went to the hospital, but was send back by the doctor. In actuality, Foetus Communi was well aware that a check-up at Railway Hospital naturally meant a MOVIE following it. So as any day, Amma and Achan went for a movie and all 3 of 'em enjoyed it. After Amma reached home, by 9 pm she started having pain and was quickly rushed to the Hospital. And approximately 11pm THE INEVITABLE HAPPENED....DISASTER.

"More Disasters at theatres : How to make Achan not see a movie"- Sponsored by Chotti Communi and her Brother




Chotti Communi did a volteface. Year 1 and 2, she hated theatres to the core. Chotti Communi and her Big Brother signed on an agreement that they won't allow Achan to watch movies at Theatres. After the initial 10 mins, Chotti Communi would kick off the plan by crying and Achan would rush with her outside the theatre to console her. 10 mins later when Achan finally brings Chotti Communi into the hall, she tags her Big Brother. Now Brother starts crying. Chain Reaction.........


Chotti Communi was a Dumb Genius




Chotti Communi never believed that the hero and heroine of a film would hug each other, let alone kiss each other (Jeezzzzz....how could a girl hug a guy!!). Her theory was that there are two frames for the scene, one in which the hero runs and hugs a guy and the second in which the heroine would run and hug a girl. And these two frames are joined together to make it appear that the hero and heroine are hugging each other.


Chotti Communi was always confused about Cricket

Chotti Communi believed that "Partnership of 100 runs" was some kind of magic number, beyond which neither of the batsmen would get out. Chotti Communi also had some strange formula for projected scores, which almost everyone would laugh at making her dumbstruck.

Chotti Communi: the non-prankster!

After "Bombay", Chotti Communi sings "Amma.. Amma...Amma". Amma comes over to the sit-out running, "What happened????". Then Chotti Communi innocently says, "I was just singing Humma Humma..Ek Ho Gaye...".

Chotti Communi never believed in marriages

TS's mother asking all 3 (TS, Chotti Communi and AKC) what they wanted to do in future.

TS:- I want to be an Engineer.

AKC:- I want to be a Teacher.

Chotti Communi:- Enikku Amma aavanam *I want to be a mother*

TS's mom :- You should get married first.

Chotti Communi:- Venda. Enikku Ammayayaal mathi *No, I just want to be a mother*

Social Interview Questions

[N.B. :- Sorry guys. Really sorry for the picture mishap. I have uploaded the pic properly and now you can click on the pic and view it clearly. I thee blame and condemn Internet Explorer for all the damages done.]

Why am I even writing long posts, when I thoroughly hate to read them. Am I not torturing you to read such long posts. So as a compensation, here comes a small one.

Don't you just love FB social interview questions. Sometimes, they are so funny. Once Pattar's friend TM (TM calls himself as TasteMaster for unknown reasons and for the same unknown reasons I always confuse that with Tea Master ...LOL) was asked a question about Pattar. You find out what followed the suite. Pls click the pic for better viewing.

P.S. :- Now you know the league of my friends. :)

P.S.S. :- Totally missing Pattar and his messages. He's off to Delhi on work and messages are costing him his balls, he says :(

P.S.S.S. :- "He" is back. *All Blushy Mushy*

Why I love tamil movies?

I'm a bunch of contradictions when it comes to movies. Normally, I'm sort of romcom girl. I love those colorful movies, as in literally colorful. If there is a dull or dark or blue shade to the screen, I just avoid seeing that movie. Maybe, thats why I end up seeing college-or-school-cindrella-type-movies again and again. But one unlikely movie, "Shooter" changed all. I started watching action-movies all of a sudden. Hitman, Incredible Hulk etc. And I also saw The Invasion. I was so engrossed in the movie. Thousands of thoughts were roaming inside my head until I saw the climax a week later. The last time the same thing happened was when I was reading Anne Frank's book. You just feel ki you're inside that house and when suddenly someone calls out for you, you feel "how can I go outside, it's all nazis out there".

On a funnier note, I just finished up writing up a list of English movies I saw since I came home and that would be since last August. The list has about 115 movies excluding the fact that I have seen all these movies a minimum of two times. The last movie to make into the list is "The Women" which I saw today. *This is what happens when you are utterly bored, craziness creeps-in in different forms*

Did I mention that I had a huge-huge headache the last 3 days and that kept me away from TV. It is for compensating that I saw The Women. Really, there's no competition for Meg Ryan. She's a league of her own. And boy, I missed VTV songs too. :( And that's when I thought of writing down why I just love Tamil movies.

The bunch of contradictions starts right here. Even though I expect every Malayalam or Hindi movies to have REAL content, that rules dims away with Tamil. My Rajnikant can throw bubblegum in the air and catch it with his mouth meanwhile fighting 50 odd hatta-katta guys. But that's a strict no-no with Mohanlal or Mammootty or Shahrukh or Aamir. I'm a music freak but then I hate to watch Hindi musicals. Maine Pyar Kiya, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Hum Aapke Hain Kaun happens to be in my never-watch list. I'm romantic but I can't fathom why DDLJ and Dil Toh Pagal Hain were so successful. I just dragged myself through the movies to find the reason.

But recently, I have had enough of Hindi films being real. Suddenly the songs vanished to make that impact it used to make. Suddenly every other song is a Punjabi bhangra. And the choreography, it all happens in a luxurious stage with lightings. No big difference. Where has the typical bollywood-dance songs gone? That used to just pop up when you thought of it the least.

I was watching CNN-IBN Real Heros Awards function the other day and I saw Rahul Bose saying. "We live in a world of invsible Indians, we see through most of India". And indeed, Bollywood does the same. And perhaps that's the reason why most of the Indian stories take place in foreign countries. Of course, I cannot ask "New York" to be in India, but what about "Kal Ho Na Ho" or "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna" or the recent one "Hum Tum aur Ghost"? And does the directors even know about the respected middle class of India. Somehow, poverty has ceased to be a storyline in the films. Luxury and more luxury it is, right? Well, I respect some filmmakers like Shyam Benegal, Rajkumar Hirani for saving the image. When it comes to real, I prefer to watch Abhay Deol films. Its a lot satisfying you know. But its too infrequent and sometimes go unnoticed. And Malalayalm, forget it, I haven't seen a decent film in ages.

And this is where I love Tamil movies. It talks about the common man and please I'm not talking about Rajnikant movies here. It has all classes. You have films which are totally based abroad and still find cult village classics. And the music for every genre. Right from the melodies to the rocking fast numbers. Unlike Malayalam, Tamil is a language totally adaptable with English. Even if you add a few Rap beat into a Tamil song, it will only be sone pe suhaga. ARR, Harris Jayaraj, Yuvan Shankar Raja doing justice to all kinds of music listeners.

Watch this song from VinnaiThaandi Varuvaya(VTV). Sung by Naresh Iyer, the Roobaroo fame. Btw, that reminds me Pattar once had a chance to meet Naresh Iyer at a family function and took a pic with him. They must be relatives, I guess. I recommend this video for its excellent choreography and to know what I miss in Hindi songs. Music is by A R Rahman. Need any comments there???

And there are a whole new generation of actors in Tamil. Everyone is given their own space. Kamal Hasan and Rajnikant never compete against Ajith, Vijay, Surya or Vikram and they in turn don't compete with Simbu, Vishal or anyothers. But its disheartening to say that there is no future for Malayalam films. Prithviraj , Indrajith and Jaisurya are trying to play second fiddle to Mohanlal and Mammootty or rather they are forced to do so. As for Hindi, I just want a new breed of actors, some who could play a college girl or boy. A good college love story. I just don't want 40yr old Aamir to play a 20yr old again. Recently anyone without a proper launch has been thrashed at the Box Office. I guess, there was some remake of Juno and God knows what happened with that.

Another video from VTV recommended for the same reasons. If you get bored and if you have fine internet connection please hop over to time 1:37 *Really recommended*. Isn't it the sweetest way to picturise a girl. Trisha looks so beautiful. I wish I were her. Yeah, I know...who would want to see a monkey with a flower-hat.

Acting and glamour go hand-in-hand here just like any other industry. Even Aamir fell short of Surya in Ghajini's remake. We just fell in love with the name Sanjay Ramasamy because of Surya.

Probably, you could never satisfy me with one genre of movies. I tend to like different movies at different times. Sometimes a sci-fi like Independence day, sometimes a romcom like When Harry Met Sally, sometimes a politically motivated Satta, sometimes tragic instilled Chandni Bar, sometimes out-an-out comedy like Panchathanthiram, sometimes an investigative thriller like The King. But that's where all others fail and Tamil rise. It rises and raises the bar.

The last and final recommendation. If only you could understand Tamil. This is a superb comedy scene from Panchathanthiram.

P.S. :- I never had such a horrific time writing a post. Youtubing for videos is deadly since I own very-high-speed-internet.

P.S.S. :- I was intending to put only the videos and let it explain in itself, but talkative me :-P