Thursday, March 8, 2018

The elusive writer

It was the breeze. Fresh air into the soul. Smirking just paved way to smiles and smiles to laughs. The grass , the trees , the cattle, the fields every one waved at her. Trains are noisy, but the cribbing was pulling her to the flashes from her past.

"I don't know what to answer, but this day is changing everything about us," he texted her back. She called him.It was midnight. Everyone in the room were talking in hushed voices. She also synced into the surroundings although all she wanted to do was to shout from the rooftop. She had fallen in love. 

"Hi, there" 
"What's your name"
He knelt down.
"Anna, I love you". 
And the seniors giggled. It was just ragging. And she played along. When the bell rang, it was time for their first sessions. She had walked away but soon found he was following her. They were going to the same class.
"You didn't tell me your name", she asked.
"Now that I have proposed to you, I guess, you could call me Prince Charming. Just kidding... Rahul." 

"I am sorry Rahul. But this is not working out. I thought we could do it. We are always fighting. The things we used to admire in each other are the things we now hate. We are drifting apart in this single room. When you are early, I am late. I am not there with for your success party. And you had to attend a client when I was fired from my job. All of us want to shoulder to cry on. But we are not there each other. " She was listing all the explanation she had planned in her mind. 
He was teary eyed. So was she. " I guess, we were better as friends".

She had been crying all day in his room. Boxes of half- eaten pastries, chocolates , pizzas were all lying on the floor. Nothing could console her. When he came back.
" Why areyou always going out ? I don't want anything to eat. I want you to sit by my side," She shouted.
Just as he sat there on the couch , she started crying again ," He dumped me.....".
" I can understand that. What I can't understand is that why are you still crying over that as if it happened yesterday. It was 2 months back."
" But still,"
"It happens Anna. Life is meant to be like that. Everyone goes through these things ". And she knew it was true.

It was last of all the cans. He knew she couldn't be any less sober. She was done counting the mistakes she made in the math board exam paper 7 years ago. Also was the number of times she had passed out after parties. She was counting the number of her ex-boyfriends now. 
"Why do boys don't like me?, You tell me, Rahul. You are a boy. You should know the reason."
"Its not like that Anna,"
"You and I have been together for so many years. Why didn't you ever think of me as your girlfriend. Am I a behenji?"
"Shut up, Rahul. Even you , my friend, don't like me. How can I ask anyone else to like me".
She was high as hell. She was weeping again. 
"Shut up you"
"Shut up...." And she felt his mouth on her lips. He was kissing her. He had always wanted to tell her how he felt about her. But she was the one who was not around. She kissed him back. 
"I didn't mean to take any advantage. But I never could have got the courage to tell how much I love you. How I always wanted to tell you that no one but I was right for you. You were the one who never thought of me as your boyfriend. " And then there was the silence.
She got down at her building and he drove back. All the beer cans she emptied had whatsoever no effect on her. She pulled out her cellphone. Texted him, " Are you in love with me ?"

And the final thought.

The train had arrived. She was rushing through the crowd when suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was turning around all ready to snap whoever it was, but then she stopped . It was Rahul. " You in a rush?" . She smiled and hugged him. " Hey bud, I am so sorry yaar. I have to catch this train. Will ping later."

When she was finally settled in her seat. She pulled her phone. One notification.
 Mail from Rahul K.
Sub:- Hi. Will call you later. Wanna share something.
Attachment : Wedding Invitation.


Thursday, January 30, 2014

Ananya's Spirituality

Growing up a child is a really big thing. And very hard too. For days you ask her to say chichi when she intends to pee and then one day she starts saying chichi right after peeing, you feel that your efforts have not gone in vain. You are so..o happy.

Have you heard of this? When new-borns smile in their sleep, it is said that God had secretly whispered some joke in their ears and that's why they are smiling. Such a cute thing na. I had started showing Ananya how to pray when she was 4 months old. So every night when we would finally go to our room which is upstairs  I  would ask her to touch the two idols kept on the corners of the staircase and then say her prayers rhymingly.
  Thambaayi..amuthine kaathurakshikane
   sothumuthine kaathurakshikane
   oru kedum koodathe varuthane
   rogam vannaal vegam bedhamaaki tharane
* Oh God, please always save my amuth, please save my sothumuth, let her never have any disease and if she has any disease please cure her as fast as possbile*

I dont remember when she started understanding these words. One day she started smiling when she heard these prayers. And then when I made her to hold her palms together, she held it together until the end of the prayer. She has been doing it ever since.

Today Ananya 'prays' everytime she sees lamps or portraits of Gods. And she never gets tired of it. She even reminds me to touch those idols in the staircase lest I forget it. And I found out that almost all the kids react in a similar fashion to "Gods". Maybe today they don't understand the meaning of Spiritualiy but they are the only ones who turn to God with the same purity everytime. They really love God. We, adults, have a lot to learn from them. Isn't it?

P.S. :-I really thought that I would be writing my first fiction as the next post. But it seems that fiction is not my cup of tea.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Blunders of the past

Firstly I am so sorry for the last post. I myself find it to be so incoherently written. Some of the lines which had to be explained further was just bluntly written. I never intended to do so. But you do know about my skills with a touch screen mobile. So Red Handed here's the clarification for the blogging lingo. Of course every blogger has his or her own way of writing. But a common thing is that may be because most of us want even a layman to understand it, we keep it simple. Or so to say there's a certain tone to how a blog is written. Certainly not a "professional" way. That's what I intended when I wrote the word lingo. And yes television, in the past it was either entirely conversational or entirely narrative. Taking a midway seemed so synchronous with the blogs.

Phew. . So what's making news these days. Well of course AAP is there. Their u-turn is certainly hitting the headlines. Thanks to FB, I am reasonably well informed of the current affairs if not all. Particularly since I have distanced myself from TV and newspaper. Well of course like many others I was also all in for AAP in the beginning but these days ahem ...

But of course we are not here to talk about AAP's blunders. Instead its all about me. For the past few days I have been trying to recollect and sort out incidents from the past. After chotti communi grew up.

There was a certain period in my life where in I was really dumb. Schooling marks the beginning of that era. I was not that academically weak. But I never wanted to understand why we were studying what we were supposed to.

1. Our principal once came in to our school to fill in our SUPW hour. He considered himself to be a math-genius or was he? Whatever. So he started explaining about REAL NUMBERS. "so what's the real purpose of these real numbers? Why do we use them? " he asked. A very valid question... Being a shorty I was always placed in the front row. And because of that insecurity I always used to be heads down, a very successful way of escaping teachers questions. But this time I was being poked by Vinod. And when I lifted my head, I saw our principal's fingers pointing me. Damn it. " To completely represent the number line" , I said. Ha ha ha.... He laughed," that's so similar to saying that you buy potatoes to put them in your pocket". The whole class laughed. To this day I don't know the answer to the question because at that moment I was just thinking about how my classmates would tease me after the class.

2. The principal was so pathetically addicted to maths. So when our 10th classes began, we were sorted into three sections, purely on the basis of maths scores, for a maths class during the assembly time. Now of all the people, I got into the first batch where our princi thought were our future IITians. So one day we were given a test paper IIT standard wala. One problem was solved stepwise and our question was to write whether the steps were correct or incorrect. We were supposed to explain why those "steps" were taken and yours truly wrote

Step 1:__________ correct
Step 2: __________ correct
Step 3:__________ correct
Step 4:__________ the final answer is correct.

3. KV has its summer vacation during May and June. Eventhough June was not "summer" in kerala, it meant that I was never able to celebrate my bday at school. I could never wear a new bday dress to school or distribute chocolates to my classmates. Even in the college june was exam time. But S8 we had classes in June and I wanted to celebrate my bday elaborately. But cash was limited. So I just bought munch for the girls alone. Somehow the boys also came to know about it. Next day morning I saw "is this the way to celebrate a bday" on the blackboard. Lesson learned if you can't do smething secretly don't do it.

4. Farewell party. I was never a famous girl. So I was highly surprised when the guy compering called upon me to emote actor Suresh Gopi. His famous dialogue pa pulle... Ormayundo ee mugham. Two other girls did it decently well and left the stage. My first phrase pa pulle was heavily applauded. I got excited. But then I always had this stage fright which made me say ormayundo ee megham.....*pore pooram*

5. Eventhough I know that I am not a bad singer, I don't even hum in public. The problem is that I have lyricsforgottophobia. Simply I forget them. But during one lazy afternoon at office, "emotional atyachar" stung my tongue. I just couldn't get it off. Things went off guard when I was walking to other end of the hall and I was singing literally loudly. Almost everyone in the hall stood up.

 Well I see that its already a long post.*yawns* . Blunders haven't ended but I am winding up for now.

P.S. :- What I have learned is I can only ask Ananya to understand what she studies in future not force her. If she can't who else to blame for the rotten DNA passed on.

P.S.S.:- The principal in the stories above is no more. He passed away few years back but not before he got his share of irutadi (literally he was beaten up in the dark)from his students' parents. Even after his death, I still cannot sympathise over him. He was such a terror back then. Ironically his was a punishment transfer to our school.

P.S.S.:- Mallus....please watch Drishyam. I haven't recommended a film in a long time. But this one's awesome.