Its me, the victim, this time

There is a sense of guilt that is overflowing my mind these days. And it is probably because I find my blog more of like a gossip column. If I have the right to mock at my friends, I should also never be spared. And since I am also a democratic along with being a communist, this time the post is dedicated to me and only me. The list of my blunders is too long to list, so I will limit that to a few incidents that happened recently.

Story 1:

I think I don’t have to explain anything about the “road-crossing” (take it literarily), right? You are in a metro and you can cross the roads whenever you get a chance. And if you become a traffic-rules-obedient citizen, then you are going to wait forever. “Cycle gap mein auto ghusana” that is what happens here. So on one such day, I was crossing the road with Blore and LJ (I don’t remember whether Binu, Donimol and MM were there or not). In fact, it was one of those odd days when you get a large space to cross the road and you could do it lavishly.

If I had crossed the road with at least 15degrees deviation, my “road-crossing” would have been totally uneventful. But I crossed at zero deviation. Now that is what you call the Aamir Effect (perfectionist). There was a guy who did the same. At the middle of the road, we were just going to bump on each other.

In a fraction of a second, my thoughts threw me into the grasslands of Switzerland. Note that there was a stream of music which was being played in the background. And if I remember it correctly it was a typical open note for a melodious duet and the lyrics of which consisted only of swaras’ – sa re ga ma. And then we were dancing and romancing on the tunes of a beautiful duet.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………..
I came back to reality. We hadn’t bumped on each other at all, infact, we were standing atleast 10 inches away from each other. And then we departed in different directions. Wasn’t it unfortunate that a love story was pinched off in the pre-init stage itself? Anyways, Thank God, none was hurt in this incident.

But think of this scenario, if………..if someone, say I, was hit by a vehicle, he would have felt the guilt na? You do know what I mean by that, right? Something similar to what happens in Hindi movies. Atleast here there was a love story developing. OMG!!!!! What am I doing here in a software company? I should have been in Bollywood. Of course, K. Johar would have accepted such crap stories. But I am sure I wouldn’t ever go with this story to Mollywood. My heroine would rather allow a lorry to roll over her than to be hit by Mammootty, Mohanlal, Suresh Gopi and….and…and….is there any other actor in the industry?

Story 2:

There are a few principles that I follow when I mouthlook (sorry, I couldn't find an appropriate word for that in English, so I am simply writing the translation). Infact, I have a classification. Mouthlooking can be of two types: Temporary and Wayyyytemporary. You can put yor schoolmates, collegemates etc into the temporary category where you mouthlook them for atleast a few months. And the other one wayytemporary is the one in which you have glances of guys and gals on the roadside, in malls or anywhere and where you don't have a chance to bump on them again. So coming back to my principles.

1. Character does matter to me when it comes to temporary mouthlooking. Does it matter in the other category?
2. Boys who are slim are always preferred.
3. When you like a person, what is the harm in letting him know about that. (Infact, I don't mind anyone knowing that.)

Well, there are so many. But that is enough for now. Ok getting to the point. What happens when two mouthlookers go savvy? The answer is "They Meet". Once when I was loathing around the platform of our Railway Station (with my father beside me), I saw a line of guys who had just boarded off a train. I was having a glance of each and every one of them. Just then I saw a guy who was doing the same. There was a short telepathic conversation between us (Font in orange color is mine and green is his')
"What?"
"What?"
"Me?"
"Hmmm.."
"Oh...No... Buddy....Are you nuts?"
"Nooo.........Not you"
A sigh of relief.......
" Then what? Go Next."
And then me too went NEXT. Shouldn't you appreciate my guts to mouthlook with my father just round the corner.

Story 3 :

It was just a few days back that I saw the hindi translation of Operation theatre. It is SHALYASHALA. As though we are shalyams (trouble) for the doctors. One funny thing about our Railway Hospital that I learned only a few days is also related to the shalyashala. The nurses and attendants working inside come outside and ask if anyone is there for operation or not. What the F***(beep!) man! Now you can wait in a queue for operation with the linen you have been covered with. I saw many of them (literarily) walk into the theatre. I have learned from Sydney Sheldon books that these doctors become so talkative inside the theatre and mostly they talk about food. In my nightmares, I see them operating my head and seeing my brain they exclaim "OH! This is not eatable!".


P.S. :- Song suggestion of this week: For hip-hop lovers, I guess, you should listen to the Taxi Song from the film Chakkarakatti (Tamil). It is an awesome number from the genius A R R. And you would also love the video of the song. When was the last time you heard a hindi song and said its lyrics was different and good too. When was the last time you heard a hindi song on friendship which comes close to Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Chodenge. Well, that is what I like about Tamil songs. You have songs for every occasion with awesome lyrics.

Hey, and one more thing. I have changed my name here. It is Communi. I think it suites me more than Angel. Now that you know I aint no Angel. So if anyone comes up with a good name, I will be obliged.

What I do these days

These days I am more or like Lallu. I take leave from my house to come to office. Its been almost two months that I spent a weekend in Bangalore. The person to suffer is ofcourse Blore. She spent the weekends alone in our room. While I spent my days under the hot sun in Palakkad. Palakkad, by the way is my hometown. A very beautiful district in Kerala, although its famous for its hot climate and dry winds. The advantage I found having grown up there is that I can survive in most of the hot and humid places in India.

The reason why I go to Pkd often is my PSC tests. For those who don't even know the full form of PSC, it is Public Service Commission, which helps you get Govt. jobs. By the year end, or before I am sacked my job, I have been asked to earn a Govt. job by my father. I have been writing quite a few exams of late. Right from those post which needs Graduation as qualification to those which just need 7th standard qualification. Hmmm. I have no other go but to write them. Atleast that is what I can do for my father's wishes. Coming back. All my weekends are spent there at Palakkad only. The place I was born and brought up. I have a lot to write about the place and the way I fight with my fellow batchmates. Things I have to do as a true Palakkadian. But as of now, my agenda is to write about two stories (facts, whichever way you want to take it). I have a time constraint for these stories. One story is about AN aka Chalu Raja, which has become dated. So before anyone questions about the validity of the story let me unfurl the event which happened long in May 2008 when AN and Sharath travelled with Binu and Donymol.

How AN got biriyani from Donymol mother???

It was the first time we were going home after training. So we, ordinary employees, decided to travel through train and bus. Since AN and Sharath were not ordinary, they decided to reach home by FLIGHT. (OMG!). But what is there in travelling without some glamour. But all their effort went in vain when none of our girl batchmates were convinced by them. Atlast, Binu and Donymol came to their rescue. They showed some sympathy over AN and Sharath. Like they had planned, they travelled in style in cabs to the airport and then boarded the flight. But when they got the tickets, AN and Sharath had a huge dilemma. The flight was a 3 seater and one of them would have to sit in another row. Since it was inappropriate to make any of the girls to sit alone, AN decided to sacrifice. (AN would have never ever dreamt of this situation or never ever want such a thing to happen to him again). So Sharath became the king of the hour, seated in between the two young and beautiful girls(Any smoking stomachs over there?). An hour later when AN decided to have a check on these friends of his, he was shocked to see the sight. All three of them had opened some packets of snacks and had ate them, totally neglecting a friend who was seated just a row away. Well, I guess, AN will never forgive Sharath, Binu and Donymol for that. And when they landed in the great Nedumbassery Airport, everyone's parents except for AN's had come to recieve them. Binu and Sharath didn't even bother to bid bye to AN. After all the efforts taken by AN to arrange this trip, AN never expected Sharath to leave him halfway. Atleast he could have said bye. Or atleast a sorry for AN not getting seated together. Nothing. You really dont want this to happen to you. But for AN, it was Donymol's mother who was the angel. She pomptuously asked AN to travel along with them in the car to the Ernakulam Town.
While in the car, AN was going on and on with what happened in the flight. Particularly about the snacks they had brought along. What he actually was trying to was to hint Donymol's mother that he actually was hungry and needed food. So Donymol's mother drove the car to a hotel. And that is where AN finally had some food.
(P.S. :- After all these days, almost 7-8 months after this incident, AN still remembers the exact sequence of events and that was the point of inspiration for me to write the story here. Anyways atleast now you could imagine the sad status of AN when he was deprived of both food and enjoyment. After this incident, AN start getting glimpses of Asin in Donymol, courtesy the biriyani given by Donymol's mother).

AAMIR following the footsteps of Tuttudu

This is an awe-inspiring story, a moral which every Indian should follow. And when the great Indian Actor, Aamir Khan, heard this story, he decided to promote it and made an AD over it. Tuttudu is feeling so grateful. He, who had been a simple but ardent fan of Aamir Khan had never thought that Aamir would follow his footsteps. Things began when Tuttudu decided that it was enough of with staying in Bangalore and he desperately needed a vacation. So he went to his hometown and stayed there for a week. While returning, he thought "since it is not a long journey, let me take the day train- Intercity Express". Since Intercity doesn't go through Pathanamthitta, he came to Ernakulam to board the train. (Oops. None of the train, in my knowledge, goes through Pathanamthitta. It is such a big city, you know. Trains and stations don't fit in there).
Even though Tuttudu was not so excited about coming back to Bangalore, to the boredom in office, he had no other go. He had reserved for a berth ( In these cost-cutting times, I only reserve for seat. But so great of him to only travel in Berths). The journey was going on uneventful, when suddenly a Parippuvada seller came. Tuttudu was seated in the window seat. When the P.seller passed him to next coup, he heard some American accented English asking about this Parippuvada. Excited Tuttudu peeped into the next coup, to find an American women sitting there. The P.seller told the lady that Parippuvada costs some Rs. 30, while it doesnt even, in actual, costs Rs. 10. Tuttudu thought,"How dare he do this to a valuable Tourist of India. If it continues what will happen to their impression of our country? What will happen to future tourism in India?" . All the queries stormed in his brain. So he decided to step into the situation. He went on to question the P.seller. But the Tuttudu arguments went in vain and was not able to win over the P.seller. As a saying goes in Malayalam, Tuttudu tied his tail and went to his seat.

When Koratty heard this incident, she spread rumours about Tuttudu. She wrote mails to Chechi and Chetan, that this was an act , or rather a show-off, to get into an Onsite project.(Well, for those software illiterate people, onsite is the software jargon for Abroad). And that his first attempt of learning Japanese had failed miserably and this was yet another attempt from his side. The reactions from Chechi and Chetan were mixed. While one was supporting, the other went on to tease him. But there was one person who really understood the emotional trauma that Tuttudu had gone through. It was none other than our beloved Aamir Khan. He decided to act in this regard. He made an Ad in which some roadside romeos tease Tourists and Aamir Khan comes and rescue them and also spread the message to protect the tourists across the nation. Wow! Isnt it great? Of Tuttudu too?

P.S. :- I started writing this post long back, but couldn't finish because of the terrible work I have here. Coding, Stored procedures, etc. etc. Anyways days passed, even A R R and Resul Pookutty got Oscars. Its only a few, just about 53K people who are still wondering what will happen in our future. Lets hope good thing happens to us too.

Anniversary Thoughts

Finally we made it. Its been one year in the company. How we managed it is a different story all together. But nonetheless, it is an occasion to remember, to have fun and also to lookback and relish the memories created so far. Here, I am going to tell a story of a girl, story of her dreams and aspirations, a story of transformation.

She was very happy, on 1st Dec, when she boarded the train with her parents and families of two of her friends at college. It was quite unclear to her, not even the station where she had to get down. She just had a slight clue that that day atleast 30 of her to-be-batchmates had boarded the train. But she didn't know anyone, nor did her friends. Although there were communities in Orkut through which she could have known others in the train, she hadn't cared much for that. As a bunch of boys passed her, she remembered a face from whom she had got a friend request at the last moment. It was AN(Now better to call him Chalu Raja). She walked upto him and talked to him. She was introduced to others in the gang. That was the first day.

The following days were filled with more excitment, as she and her friends and their families went for a tour of Hyderabad and Secunderabad. She found the place to be homely one and was able to relate to the city very easily. Eventhough she had been once to city, things now where quite different. She was destined to stay here for sometime, atleast for some months. A little tension of leaving her parents for the first time was also haunting her. But she consoled herself, for it was this life that she always dreamt of.

On 6 Dec, she was asked to report to an office in the city, where she came to know that they will be taken to the HQ of the company which 20 kms away from the city. It was no less like a "Bidaai", when all the parents, particularly mothers, (of girls) shed their tears (well, that is a little exaggeration) when all of them boarded different buses. After a long hour, they finally reached the HQ. She stood with her mouth wide open at the first glance of the conference hall. She was really skeptical about walking over the neatly polished marble floor, lest she should slip.

Guys and Gals from all parts of India were going to be her batchmates. She had never thought of this before. Nor she was aware of the vastness of the company she was going to join. But much to her astonishment, there was only a small welcome message said and they were bestowed a big flat file with loads of papers to be filled in. Thanks to all those papers, at the end of the day when all the formalities were finished, she could'nt even recognise her signature anymore.

That was not the end. 2 days later, they had an exam over the topics they would be taught during the training. It was like latin and american for our young girl, who was not from a CS background. All that she knew about the machine called Computer was that she can operate it on a fine day.

Along came the Induction Day of 10 Dec, They were made to play games, do requirement gathering, logo making. It was a quite different affair from what she had thought initially. By the end of the day she had made some new friends. She was also introduced to some friends-of-friends and so on. And she knew it was just a beginning.

Hyderabad was very similar to any north Indian city. It had its own rich culture. And anyone could survive in Hyderabad if she or he knows Hindi. Thus, our girl was able to improve her long-forgotten Hindi. Hyderabad became even more enjoyable because of her roommates. It was like, they were always meant to be friends. Each one of them enjoyed food and our girl even got a company in seeing movies, of her favourite genre, in her roommate. A few days into training, she found herself in easy conversation with every of her batchmate. Eventhough the initial OLAs and tests had made her nervous, later she got used to it. And she started to enjoy the training. One little fact, once told by her school friend, that "training period is going to be one wonderful period of your career life, never miss chance in it, enjoy it to the max". She always remembered that.

They were given enough chances to enjoyment also. Outbound brought the childishness and sportmanship in everyone, and they were also asked to explore their other talents in Spotlight like singing, dancing and acting.

During the course, her language changed from English to C#(read as C Sharp). To her the word "foreign" doesn't exist anymore, it is onsite. And MCP was no longer Male Chauvinist Pig but Microsoft Certified Professional. She Frequently used the terms OLA, KT etc eventhough she never thought about asking anyone about the expansion.

When the training was completed, she thought it was the end of the great friendship that she shared with every of her batchmate. But it was not to be. She was "benched" and that too for more than 9 months. She completed 1 year, not doing any project, actually not doing anything. It really sucks. But for the friends she is always surrounded with, it was really sucking. For a change, she shifted from Hyderabad to Bangalore, only to find that it is the same there also.

Guys, this is the story with a colorful start and not-so-colorful ending. I mean, this story is not ending at all. This is a continuing story. This is what happens to every girl in this field. You are "TRAINED AND BENCHED" (Courtesy : A friend of mine whose name in Orkut read the same).