Monday, January 19, 2009

Its Safe To Elope Here

All these days, I have been pulling myself through two situations: 1. my job is at disaster (don't know when I will be thrown out) 2. my creative (or the so-called creative) mind got stuck somewhere. I can hardly find fun in things surrounds me. I can't find anything to blog on. It took almost 2 weeks for me to complete the previous post. The turmoil inside the company has shook the ground beneath us. A week into the situation, I thot, what worse could happen more than loosing the job. Thats all na.

In my "orkut days", very much before I started blogging, I used to write stories about love letters. Actually, not stories. Truly, I am not that intelligent to spin stories. Love Letters (it had two or three volumes) are very much inspired from the real life incidents. Those things that happend in the love lives of my friends and cousins. You might have already guessed that it must have been pretty old stories, beacuse it deals with love letters. Who in these days write letters to their lovers. But I have an opinion that, it is much more romantic to write letters than calling your lover over phone. Given the present situation, I would certainly prefer guys who text me than who call me.

I am totally unaware of the current position those affairs about whom I have already written in my orkut. Well, hopefully some might have clicked. And sadly some might haven't. In my hometown, I was surrounded by affairs which mostly didn't click. Some tried to elope but failed miserably. Some even got married, but were then convinced by their parents to divorce (really bad huh!). It takes real guts to love a person and continue to do so, if your parents don't agree.

But never in my life, I have heard about a very "planned" execution of elopement. Ok there have been movies, where the hero helps his friend to run away with his lover. But there are stunts, action sequences which are hardly applicable to real life. We can say that brain is mightier than muscle power. And if you can have a good plan, you are destined to be a winner.

When it comes to Ramettan, he is "the" mastermind. He successfully completed what you can call as the "trail version" of elopement. He experimented with his friend's love life. There were risks involved but then when the plan is as damn good as this one, no probs. His friend in his hometown, Mr. Lover was having an affair with a girl (ofcourse girl only). Miss Lover, who studies in a college in the town. When she realised that her parents would never agree to a cross-religion marriage, they both decided to get out of town and get married without their parents consent, even though Mr. Lover's parents had no problem in accepting the marriage.

There was only one guy who Mr. Lover can always resort to. Our Ramettan. The plan, he had been working out from the day he saw Bhabhi, was sold to his friend without any patent. In a cross-religion marriage, the bride and the groom have to apply for marriage in a register office. This application will be put in the notice board of the office. If no objection is raised by anyone(anyone at all), the marriage becomes legal. This was the first step taken by our Lovers. Since it was 'country side', and no one knew to read the English notice paper, it was quite easy for them.

Next, Mr. Lover conviced his parents that he will be running away with that girl and told them that they would go to Bangalore and then to Bihar where he is working. But actually, Mr. Lover had planned to go Chennai (where he could also get the full-hand support of Ramettan) in train and then by flight to Kolkata and then from there to Assam. He was expecting the worst case scenario of her parents going to his house and asking his parents about the whereabouts of both of them.

On the D-Day. Ms Lover left home as she usually goes to college. She posted a letter in the near-by letterbox stating that she is going away with her love. By the time the letter reaches home, through the nearest post office, both of them would have already reached Chennai. I have no idea what was the aftermath of this incident in Ramettan's hometown. I am eagerly waiting to hear about it. But on the otherside, Lovers travelled smoothly in train to Chennai and then flied to Kolkata.

But the Lovers did one thing that was not there in Ramettan's plan. No bad guesses here(please!!!!!!!!!). Mr. Lover tied the three knots of "Thali" (mangalsutra) on Ms. Lover during the train journey itself. Ramettan expected them to do that in a more dignified manner, atleast in a temple. When they both landed up in Chennai, Ramettan was shocked to see Ms. Lover(no more Ms... Mrs) wearing sindoor on her forehead and talking to him ubercool( He had always seen her with a parda). Now that is what you call as National Integrity.

P.S. :- Although the entire plan is virtually patented to Ramettan, Ramettan can't use this again. This was for those guys who had a stable income, not applicable to Ramettan (or for that matter, any guy in our Company). Hope Ramettan finds another good plan to elope with our Bhabhi.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Over A Cup Of Tea

Welcome 2009 ! I hope everyone has thouroughly enjoyed the new year and the new year party. In Bangalore, the happening place is the M.G. Road, which I couldn't visit because of security reasons. This doesn't mean that Bangalore was under threat of a terror attack, but it just means that like any Indian Urbane City, Bangalore is also not a safe place for girls (Atleast that is what the rumour has it). In this new year, I just beckon some serious changes from my parent's side. Changes I need are :
1. Stop dropping me at the railway station whenever I come back to Bangalore.
2. Please stop crying whenever I leave to Bangalore (GROW UP AMMA, I am going to Bangalore not to Dubai, besides I come there every fortnight).
3. Stop arranging Tea interviews everytime I go there, Give me some quality time.


Everytime I am asked to go home on a weekend, my heart pounds...Not Again!!!I know the exact reason why my mother would bother me to go there... for a "Tea Interview". Similar to the job interviews, u are expected to test the intelligence, character n more things over a cup of tea. (Sure, there are other things which are served to the "possible to-be", but TEA sounds good for the title of the post and much better than Over a packet of laddoo or jalebis).


The tea interview history dates back to somewhere when I was 19. Can you belive that, 19 ? And that was the first phase of disappointment for my parents and relief for me, since the guy and the family never turned up. Must I say it, it was his goodluck not to seen me at all. The "hang over" remained for a long time, till I reached my 3rd year at college. Now this time, it had become damn serious affair. This time my father had sworn to get rid off me from my house. But I was as adamant as he was. Not to get out of the house. I have already ruined one house, why make a mess with another. From the feeble memory I have about this tea interview, this was what had happened during that time.


First, my parents saw this ad of a 30year old guy in the matrimonial page. Father thought "30 years - not a bad age to get my 20 year old daughter, Class D govt job- wow! thats great! who in these days gets a govt. job at this age, native place- wow! thats even more better, we are already neighbours". He ringed them up. The to-be-father-in-law came and scanned the outside of our house that evening itself. Two days later, he stopped by our house to tell that they are interested in proceeding with the proposal. Now comes the "Lecture time" by my father.


The peculiarity or the speciality of my father's lecture time is that "what the prospective groom (read now onwards as PG) does, or where he is, or how much he earns, or how learned he is" doesn't count at all. The points that count is what the PG's parents do or were doing, what his siblings are. And if he's got sisters, what are his brother's in-law doing. Like I am marrying the PG's father or mother or brothers or sisters and so on.


So a series of visits were done by the PG's family, and finally they decided on the-girl-is-good. What the best I find about those days is the amount of sweets that flooded our house. Even the sight of a jalebi lures me. It was something like old hindi and tamil film songs, where the hero and the heroine are in lawn of oranges, apples.....me in sweets(all possible kinds). As they say, you could run a boat in my mouth. There was only one, but a usual, problem with the whole affair. I didn't want to get married. I resisted it with my tooth and nail (not literary of course). And atlast the king of the house(my father) surrendered to my demands. To this day, I believe that as one of my biggest achievements in my life. This is no small deal.


When your parents become Nazis determine to throw Jew out of Germany. You will be given a notice, first to show your obedience to the Nazi govt. and its terms and conditions. If you resist to that, you will be send to the concentration camp. As far as I was concerned, I had to hear to a lot of cries of the Nazi woman for-not-being-an-obedient-girl. But I left untouched with this ewmothional saga. :-) . What followed that was a terrible disaster in my life(? or others lives). I was free, roaming as a street dog. Believe or not, I must have been a nightmare for some boys (ok ! the truth-only one guy), only because of the freedom I was awarded after the whole event.


As always there was a 'hang-over' gap for this T-interview too. But nonetheless, they are my parents. They continued the search of PGs. One time, again a govt employee came. He appeared to be a replica of my father. He was seeing me for the first time. But still, he was going on and on with the advice of getting through the PSC exams and getting a govt. job. My ears were totally tired of hearing that. My mother too. Another time it was a guy in "Sand Mafia" (Ok ! I am exaggerating). He happened to have some trucks for carrying sand for construction work. His whole family was in the same business. Now I know, why the Bharathpuzha(river) is becoming shallower and shallower.

After going through the different tortures, I felt like I am the only unmarried girl left in this world. I am just 22 (ok! and a half too.). Is it so bad to stay unmarried at this age. Grow up Amma and Acha. Whatever I am now, However stupid I am, I like the way I am now. Giving away your freedom for getting life partner who can't ever understand you is a crime in itself. Ok! I am getting a feeling that this post has been a "too" stretched one, so I am winding it up.