Saturday, May 29, 2010

Intro to in-laws

What's the last thing you expect a bride to do? Maybe write a post on the day previous to her marriage, or write a post on the day of marriage? I'm doing the former one, so you can well expect the latter one too from me. Just kidding yaar!! Who says brides are busy these days!

And what better post than introducing my in-laws to my blogworld . I have been quite low about them because of the confusion in naming them, but it would only be unfair if I weren't writing about them atleast today. I'm settling down with "A" for my till-today-fiance-tom-husband. Decent name would be the comment I get, I know. Paa, Maa respectively for my father-in-law and mother-in-law. And No, these names have not been inspired from Paa, the movie. I coined it a little earlier than that. Long back I had heard some girl using "P. Achan", "E. Achan" as phone names for her father and her father-in-law who live in Palakkad and Ernakulam respectively. LOL :)

OK! My bro-in-law, KK ( or Derived from the very famous malayalam kids show just to remind us that his love interest studies at Kuttipuram. And then Kamini, KK's fiance. There is a big story behid this name. Remember Kaminey, the movie. Our little prankster, who's acclaimed for her hindi knowledge, once accidently pronounced it as Kamini. Henceforth, the name. But the story doesn't end there. KK, another legend in Hindi, continued the same pronounciation until somebody pointed out the mistake. But boys being boys, KK just revealed the first part of the story to me and later on A told me the whole version.

Honeymoon talks:

A :- Which is the one place you want to go to?
Me :- Kolkata it is.
A :- Ok! Do you know it costs very less to travel to Singapore? Do you wanna go there?
Me :- Hhmmmm........only if I go to Kolkata first.
A :- Tell me someother place you want to go?
Me :- Coorg. Heard its a damn good place.
A:-Is it ? Haven't heard of it at all. How about Munnar?
Me :-'s also a good place.
A :- Yeah. But it can be costly na.
Me :- Then we can come over to Palakkad and visit Silent Valley and Neliyampathy with our family. It would be a family tour.
A :- No, its our honeymoon!!
Me :- Then I see only one option. Lets put a "Do not disturb" board infront of our room.
A :- Great. Its settled then !

Conspiring against KK

KK :- Chechi, I would throw you out of the house if you don't cook properly ;)
Me:- Acha... you know what I will put salt in your tea.
Kamini :- Chechi, we won't cook fo him at all.
Me :- Beware KK, we will just give you old-boiled-rice and chutney.
Kamini :- Chechi, thats too much chechi. Just give him the leftover water of the old-rice...

P.S.:- I'm getting married tom at Guruvayoor. Everybody are welcome there. Don't come complaining that you missed the function or couldn't locate us. Its bound to happen.

P.P.S :- Felt bad about just one PS ;)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Because We Are Women

"Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repititious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a real "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural andbecause we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and... for lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement."
Written by some unknown author in an international conference, I feel, these have been the most powerful words I have ever come across about the movement. I am not here to accuse all the males on earth for being all those stated above, but it's for sure that every woman has come across each of these people at certain points of time.

A fellow colleague who nags about his female TL for delegating work. The same person working under a male TL who dumps work on him doesn't attract the same kind of attention. A mistake in his fellow female colleague is blown out of proportion than a male colleague.

Rapists walk in the streets head held high, while rape victims are cornered, verbally molested again and again by the society.

You get harrassed in public for questioning a male who had harrassed you in a bus. You get beaten in a bus for asking the change back from the conductor. You get pinched in the back when you go for a movie or travel in a bus.

You're expected not to react.

We call them chauvinist pigs, but who makes them chauvinists?? The mother who asks her girl child to wash her soiled plates and also of her brother. The mother who doesn't let his son wash his clothes. The aunty who constantly reminds a girl that "patni ki jagah pati ke charno mein hain". The woman who is the first one to shout at a rape victim that she's not worthy of living in the world. WE make them chauvinists and we complain against them.

I might as well have been one among crores of women who get silently pinched, harrassed and believe that it was fault and fate. But I always chose to react eventhough it is in the minutest of the minute character.

I might as well have written a blog about some funny stuff but the fact that I'm in the so called "God's own country" and the backseater-pinchers are aplenty put me to think and write about it. Highest literacy rate? Maybe also has the highest registered and unregistered eve-teasing cases. On my first journey from Hyd to Palakkad, I had to take a KSRTC bus from Cbe to Palakkad. While I was getting down the bus, somebody welcomed me back to Kerala by trying my butt. And my thoughts-  if this butt was a removable one, I would have definitely gifted it to that unknown person, if it could satisfy his sexual tendencies even for a few days.

Yeah I'm saying it, don't go by the tag lines, Kerala could be the worst place you visit if you're not of a hi-fi class. It's devil's residence. And I hate to be proud of Kerala.

Female infanticide?? There was a time when I used to sympathise those unborn female babies. Not anymore. Atleast they don't have to see this big bad world which don't know how to respect a woman, they won't be molested, they won't be harrassed for being a girl.

P.S. :-  I still don't understand the meaning of feminism and hence I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanitarian.

P.P.S :- This is my 50th post. Happy 50 bloggy baby!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Daddy's Girl or Mommy's Girl?

Have you ever felt the urge to write so many things on your blog, but still can't do it because sometimes it rains heavily, sometimes the power goes off and moretimes you doze off to sleep. Well I've been in that state for a few days now. And this internet connection is also testing my patience. But I'm finally sitting down to key down my thoughts.

First things first, I am on the verge of starting a new life altogether, taking up a few more responsibilties of being a wife, a bahu, a bhaabhi etc etc. I'm equally excited and tensed about it. But these 6-7 months after the betrothal has given me a chance of getting acquainted with all my in-laws and more or less I'm a bit prepared. Given the fact that this is the last month of my spinisterhood, The Desultory Mind here will be celebrating a Bachelorette Party all through this month. Food, wine, hot hunks....ok can always assume them to be present here. ;)

Once you're in such a position in your life, you tend to rewind all your past. And just as Chaos Theory states there is an underlying pattern in all random acts, you find things that happened in your life - even those insignificant things- have resulted in what is happening to you now. Call it Science or fate.

Ok! Enough with the philosophy. Have you seen the movie Rumor Has It? The one with Jennifer Aniston and in which she does one of my favorite filmy-proposals. She says,"I won't say that I can't live without you because I can. But I don't want to live without you". But the point is that somehow, it put me to think about the how much Amma and I are alike and Achan and Iare alike.

I don't look like either of 'em. I'm more of like a hybrid breed. I find my nose a combo of Amma's and Achan's. The gene for my small-face must have come from Achan. My teeth attributed to Amma. But characterwise, I am neither of 'em. Well they both seem to be very patient with every thing. But I'm very hot-tempered. Thanks to Achan's constant prying, me and my brother both are very hot-tempered.

Amma and I are nocturnal animals (She would totally deny this). We love to go for late-evening shoppings, concerts and etc. And we are crazy about afternoon naps. We cannot survive without that. And as for shopping, we are very unusual shopoholics.The budget always runs in the back of the mind. The last thing we want to shop is clothes. We prefer eatables. Amma goes for the vegetables and I stick around the Maggi, Knorr corner.

I am a very political person because of Achan. It's from him that I learned about Politics, Indian History, Communism, its history in Kerala. And even when he was turning into a Hinduist, I sticked to Communsim. We both are pathetic with numbers, be it phone numbers or historically important dates. We are also pathetic with "people". We can't remember them and also forget how we're related them. I can't remember my own relatives, let alone remember the relatives of my friends and neighbours. A little bit of my creative instincts like drawing comes from him.

The list goes on and on, but may be some other time.