Bangalore Times

Statutory Warning: This has little to do with those who love Bangalore or love its climate or the life in Bangalore (coz I know that nobody is going to care)....well who cares!!!

I have always thought Bangalore to be an alien planet for years. And even after living here for around 3 months that perception hasn't changed. Apart from a terrible reason(may be, for others) that I dont like the climate , I can point out hundreds of reason why I dont think I can ever adapt to Bangalore.

Bangalore may geographically belong to India, but God knows where it landed from or was it imported from some "Asserican" country. Somehow I cant see anything common in Bangalore and any other Indian cities(or metros for that matter). Girls in Bangalore must have started wearing miniskirts even before it reached the fashion capital Mumbai(or was it invented in Bangalore itself?). When I was too young to understand that it is not vulgarity to wear small clothes (how ignorant of me!!!), I screamed at such girls.

Tips:
1. How would you know that you have landed up in Bangalore?
Clue1:The first person you come across after landing, is wearing a headphone and a high probability of having his/her Comapny Id around the neck.
Clue2: Or if you got into a bus, you will find many youngsters sleeping like they haven't slept for years.
Clue3: (Best if you know malayalam) You see guys speaking in malayalam.(Believe me there are more Mallus than Kannadigas in Bangalore).

Party Animal or Social Animal??
You are destined to become either one of the above options or both if you are in Bangalore. If not...are you a man? Work hard, Party harder. This is the ever rocking Bangalore!!! The lifestyle of Bangalore must have been Ctrl+C Ctrl+V (copy pasted) from some foreign(generally!) countries. It might take a hell lot of time for me to adjust to Bangalorian life.

Partners??
It doen't really matter how many times you switch your partners, but mind you, you are always with an opposite sex. People look oddly at two guys walking together...Like hit films like Sholay have never bothered to make an entry to Bangalore.

Historical Monuments??
You don't find historical monuments in Bangalore, you can only find flyovers...and that too under construction.

Language??
This is not an Indian city...I have warned you earlier. English is your only hope for survival. (Damn hell !!! when will I throw off Hindi from my mouth).

In Software Field??
Am I going to curse my own field which has given me "food and shelter"......No Way...............

Ok May Be Next Time.....